I will have to think about it twice the next time I am afraid.
When I was 17, I got my first "own" (as in not my parents) dog. Her name was Chevy. She was with me when I got my first car. With my when I got my first flat. Used to come to parties with me. She lived in a car with me when I moved to another city, and when I was "homeless". She was there for the birth of my first (and only) baby. And, on her 12th birthday, after 3 months apart, she made it to our new home in Australia.
Unfortunately, it was not to last and 3 weeks later I had her PTS. I was there as I like to hold my babies. She had cancer and she wasnt going to get any better. However, when they tried to put a needle in her leg, they couldnt and she started struggling despite the fact that for 4 days she had barely been able to move. She was squirming on the table and trying to get down and she was looking at me like "wtf is going on".
I actually said to the vet "Maybe this is a sign and I should take her home" and he said "No, I think this is the right thing to do" and then it was done.
However it was horrible. It wasnt a nice gentle passing like with my boy Lennox. It was extremely unpleasant and horrid.
I know it was the right thing to do, but to be honest, I dont know if I can do it again. Sure, I can make the decision but being present will be another matter entirely for me. It was extremely traumatic.