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Thread: Can You Give Me Your Thoughts?. Moving Out.

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jul 2009


    I am of a similar age and situation - I'm 20 and have two dogs who are 'mine', one of whom is extremely fear aggressive, worse than what you have described. We have to be careful when anybody comes to visit our house, and it takes 10-15 visits before Carl will allow someone in the house without growling at them. Even then he is still very wary.

    I've had the opportunity to move out several times. Money was never an issue but I've paid rent to my parents before, and just the rent itself was expensive. Not to mention food/dog things/money put aside for vet emergencies/bills/entertainment etc. In the end, it's just easier to live with them, especially when I have a dog who could no way live in a sharehouse or an apartment with a roommate. The only person he would tolerate being in close quarters with is my ex-boyfriend, which is not an option unfortunately for him! :P

    Wait for a few years, maybe? I wouldn't be tolerating my friend's father telling me the dogs weren't allowed in at all! :|

    like a rolling thunder chasing the wind...

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Dec 2010


    I think it's probably better to stay at home and save up to get your own place (to rent or buy, it's up to you). From my experience with people around our age (18 - 21) it's hard enough to find a place to rent without bringing pets into the mix. Landlords just don't seem to want to rent to young people without steady income/well paying jobs. Then you have the issue of renting with pets (even though I can't imagine how a well behaved clean pet could be any worse than someone with kids that run wild).

    Definitely stay at home and save as long as you can.

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Aug 2009


    I know how good it feels to move out but you need a steady well paid job that covers rent, electricity, phone, food etc, and an amount saved up that would cover - ideally - about six months of living expenses in case of emergency - like you're between jobs for a bit. So you'd need 4 weeks rent plus 6 months rent and expenses to move out comfortably.

    You also need a flat mate who you feel you are friends with, you respect her opinion about things and she respects yours and it's ok for you to disagree about some things and you're both financially reliable ie if you're paying bills for her - you will resent her eventually especially if she keeps breaking promises to pay. And definitely never share with someone you don't even like. It's a disaster.

    When I first moved out - people told me not to share with friends - because it will break the friendship - but for me it never has. Friends are the only people I can share with - you know the people who will drop everything to help you amd you'd do the same for them. And the people you can forgive then they drop and break something of yours and forget to tell you straight away.

    The people around school or work or uni that you like but have different personal habits or are always telling you what to do, or you have the tiniest doubt about spending lots of time with them and their mess - you don't want to share with. And it's probably not a good idea to share with young people whose parents you don't like or they don't like/accept you. You just don't need that extra pressure.

    If you've both got dogs and everyone gets along, it can be great. It will be a disaster if one of you gets a dog that the other (or their dog) doesn't like. And finding rentals with dogs is much harder. Ideally you rent a place that belongs to your parents ie very unlikely to be evicted.

    If you're worried about your friend or her dad being mad at you - she's not a good candidate for sharing. It has to be someone you can handle being mad at you (for a little while at least) and you won't be tip toeing around trying to keep them happy. Doing that will make you miserable and stressed. It needs to be someone you can say anything you need to and they will handle it and vice versa.

    Personally I think that my dog barking at strangers is a good thing. But it does need to be manageable ie you need to be able to ask her to be quiet, and maybe get the stranger to stop looking at her.

    My dog barks at most anyone she hasn't seen in a while or who comes to the house. Sometimes its a fear thing but I think mostly it's because barking is fun. She stops when I ask unless the other person is acting in a way she considers threatening. If I think it's threatening I let her, if not, I shut her in a separate bit of the house until they're gone. Or if they're willing I talk them through teaching the dog that they're ok. Depends on who it is.

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