People who are anxious by nature will more than likely have anxious dogs...people who are balanced and calm will have calm dogs (in most cases...there of course are exceptions to that rule).
I am not trying to be rude Amy, because we were ALL first time dog owners at one stage. You have got to let her be a dog or else quite frankly...you are going to "ruin" her. She will end up like a spoilt child who chucks tantrums when she doesn't get what she wants and will therefore not be a balanced and happy dog.
I did exactly what you are doing with my Odin...Amy! The difference is...he ended up a 55kg male Rottweiler with a VERY big set of teeth and an even bigger attitude. I LOVED Odin...he was gorgeous! We trained ever day (obedience/Show/Schutzhund training)...spent almost 24 hours a day together and it was great. But what I also created was a dog who was EXTREMELY dependent on me and VERY protective of me to the point of him protecting me if hubby touched me...NOT good. As you might know...this story does not end good Amy, because he attacked my 2 sons and then my husband one morning...he simply snapped!
Dogs are not happy being treated like humans, because they are not humans...they are canines. They have different needs to us, but that doesn't mean you can't love her...just love her for what she is...your dog and not your child.
I beg you to listen to me here...you have got to distance yourself a bit to "create" a happy, independent, balanced and calm dog that can deal with every situation in life!!! You have got to take a "chill pill" for the sake of your dog, because I honestly think your anxiety is contributing to her issues.