Went something like this ;
Oh cool! We playing with the hose Dad ?!!
erm Dad? Hose ?
What on earth are you doing ?!!
That is NOT what we do with the hose!!!
pppfffffttt...bluddy pooofy pink fish and all....
Looks like I'm going in .
Time to stop this nonsense.
Mum...for the love of dog...pleeeease tell him to stop it ..
Fine! I'll bluddy well do it myself.
Second times the charm ..
Why you rot*snooort*ten blighter!!!
Roight!! No more Mr Nice Guy!!
You are just so mean and I'm telling Mum on you....