I like the one I read that says " when you come home and find your dog has destroyed your favourite shoes/bags/whatever, roll up some newspaper and hit yourself over the head for being daft enough to leave them in an accessible place"
I had a dog once that was chronically into getting into the big rubbish bin. Someone said to put a mousetrap under the lid. I look back and think what a mean thing to do. It worked. ( I would do it differently now, mainly put the bin somewhere else!)