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Thread: Feel Distant

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
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    Unhappy Feel Distant

    Please dont hate for me for what i am about to say, i have typed and deleted this msg 50 times, but i really need to know if i am the only one who is going through or gone through this.

    I dont think i love Jade. I was so super excited before we got her and they day of i cried when we brought her home, our family felt complete.I just dont have a connection with her yet, I think it might be cos i didnt pick her and she didnt pick me, the breeder picked her for us.

    I still play play kiss and cuddle her, but as like babies im sure she can sense something is wrong.

    Am i a bad mother and person or is this normal?

  2. #2
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    Default

    i dont think your a bad person for feeling like this,good on you for having the courage to post.

    do you get any 1 on 1 time with jade?

  3. #3

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    Your not a bad person or mother.

    How long have you had Jade? I think the bonding thing takes time.

    I can relate to how you are feeling though.

    We bought home our first ever puppy on the weekend. My fiance and I have never owned a dog or any other pet for that matter so everything is new and strange to us.

    In addition to that I was blasted by members on here telling me my puppy was sick and I was very silly for buying her from the person I did. All this made me sooo worried! Sick to my stomach that I had done something wrong, that I wouldn't know how to care for her, that something would happen to her. I still have this anxious feeling and I think its just a feeling of not knowing everything.

    I hope you feel better soon!

  4. #4
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    I do get some alone time with her, when the master of the house has his nap. It's just to werid for me, cos i LOVE animals and all the dog's i have had i have never had this problem. I dont want her to think i hate her cos i dont, i love her but i just dont have that connection with her.

    We have had her for 2 nearly 3 months amy. People on here are passionate about animals, dont take it personally just take it as very useful advice and that they care.

  5. #5
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    Your not a bad person, sometimes it takes time to develope the connection.

    I'll admit I bonded quickly with both my two but there have been time's over the years I've hated Madeline and once I've come close to giving her away.

  6. #6
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    I have never had this happen before, and i dont want it to continue. I cry i think twice a day about this and everyone i speak to just doesnt understand i get the look of, " you should feel like this"

  7. #7
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    I felt this way with my Gordon Setter for a long time. And believe me I am dog crazy. She was just so different from other dogs I'd had. I have come to the conclusion though that gun dogs are not for me.

    However 4 years later I love this girl to bits. She is so unique. Her self confidence is amazing, as is her patience with little puppies and a multitude of other things. She just grew on me. My husband loves her.

    Then I got into the whippets, from day one I loved them each and every one of them, even the ones that came to us as young adults. My husband on the other hand took some time to warm to them. Now to hear him talk you'd think he'd chosen this breed.

    Sometimes different dogs challenge us, like maybe one of our kids pushes our buttons more than the others. But over time you learn to love them for what they are.

    I used to say I love Gemma, but don't necessarily like her. That's all changed now. She's such a clown, I couldn't imagine life without her.

  8. #8
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    Thats a great post M&C.

    It may not help but the thing that got me through my feelings with Madeline was finding something that just me and her could do. OH was never big on training so I started teaching her some tricks, it gave us time alone and something that was just between us.

  9. #9
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    perhaps you could spend some more one on one time with her?

    If she is up to date with all her vaccs perhaps take her to your local park and throw a ball together or just go for small walks just the two of you?!

  10. #10
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    Sorry I often post a couple of times in the one thread but my computer times out.

    Really I think you just need to give it time. It will just sneak up on you.

    Infiltrate into your heart and stay there.

    I'm sure you've met people that you've not warmed to immediately but they have turned out to be great friends?

    Just because it's a dog doesn't mean we are meant to fall instantly in love.

    Give it time. Relax and wait for the bond to come. I think my bond with Gemma came the day I watched her with a friends little puppy. She is normally such a rough and tumble, clumsy type of dog but with that puppy she was amazing and I instantly fell in love. She has been that way with all the others too.

    So I could say that Gordon Setters are not a breed that I like as puppies but as adults they are wonderful. I too worried for a while, but I relaxed and it came good.
    Last edited by mouseandchicken; 02-01-2010 at 09:29 AM.

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