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Thread: Feel Distant

  1. #21
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Devonport, Tasmania
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    6,675

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    Hi Taraboombara,

    You know, I think I know exactly how you feel!

    I have had German Shepherds for over 30 years, that's all I've had, and there wasn't one I didn't bond with either immediately, or within a week. They are a breed of dog that is just so deeply ingrained in my heart and soul, it's not funny. It's also kind of hard to explain...

    Due to family reasons and making a final decision on what is best for all of us, I walked away from the German Shepherds and have embarked on a new breed - the Newfoundland.

    As much as it pains me to say this, the truth remains that I have not bonded with this puppy to any degree such as I always have with German Shepherds. Yes, it's worrisome, yes, it's stressful, yes, at times I feel bad and wonder what's wrong with me.

    But I also am old enough and experienced enough to give myself a break and realise that things will happen in time. Bit by bit, I expect we will start bonding to the degree I normally do with a dog. I also realise that at this time with my children still home from school, I am finding it very difficult to do anything with Inca, and so all the issues tend to 'escalate.' I believe that once the boys are back at school and she and I have some quality time together to play and train, then things will be much better.

    Believe me, I do understand how you feel. Just give it time.

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    151

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    Im so glad that i am not the only one who hasn't fallen in love straight away. But i always thought it was part of getting a dog, you see it and fall in love. I dont know maybe i just need to take a step back and let our personalitys come together.

  3. #23
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Victoria
    Posts
    4,241

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    Don't feel bad. I've talked to people in the vet who have told me they 'tolerate' their dog.
    I can't add anything else, you may never connect, or it may just take time.
    Education not Legislation

  4. #24
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    1,048

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    I sometimes feel this way too. When Im having a bad day and Dora soils in the house, chews something up, I just break down. I havent bonded with her yet, either. I was worried until I read this thread - Im not the only one! I do admit to wanting to cuddle her forever when I see her sleeping - she looks so angelic, not at all like her usual naughty, and slightly antisocial state (getting better!).
    Like everyone says, this will take time, and Tkay, I know what you mean about the whole not 'getting it' thing.
    Tara, you and I are in the same boat, but dont worry, you'll get there! We all will *fingers crossed*.
    All dogs have problems, maybe you havent bonded because of them? I get really frustrated with Dora when she snaps at another dog or human, when she growls at them, barks, all those things I dont want her doing... to the point where I want to give up. Maybe its the same for you?
    Sorry for the long post, just trying to help (sorry if it didnt).

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Near Newcastle, NSW
    Posts
    4,215

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    Look...I bonded really quickly with Sumo, but not with Ruby. We have bonded now because I spend a lot of time with her and show her. Give it time

  6. #26

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    Sometimes it takes something to happen in life to really bond. I didn't bond with my Ralph for a few years. I loved him but didn't feel close to him. He was originally just the companion for my Zookie (my German Shepherd). When Zookie was ran over and killed after someone took the two boys and then Ralph was reunited with us a day later, I keep thinking "Why wasn't it the other way around"? But over time and when I changed jobs and was at home more, I started to look at Ralph differently. We started to get really close.
    When OH started truck driving, Ralph and I spent more and more time together. If you read my thread on Ralph's medical problems, you will realise that there isn't a thing I wouldn't do for him. It took a long long time and to be honest, I am closer to him than my skin child or skin grandchild!
    So don't be hard on yourself and give yourself plenty of time. Something will happen that will bring you both closer together and will bond you together.

  7. #27
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    54

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    I'm a new puppy 'mum' as well. We've had Loeka since Christmas time. And in the beginning, I was absolutely smitten. The puppy could do no wrong. Then things turned for the worst when he became a puppy terror with sharp little teeth and I became a frustrated, frazzled owner and I honestly thought it wasn't going to work out. I also thought he didn't like us - which is weird, I know.

    But we just needed to get used to each other and suddenly it just clicked - it's like falling in love. Very strange. He's now part of the family - for better or worse - and he has changed as well and is becoming increasingly more affectionate. Also, we found out he's a natural frisbee dog which ROCKS!: P The older he gets, the better it gets.

    And yes, I agree with everyone else: we all need time to bond and forge connections, be it humans or animals, so DON'T WORRY : )

  8. #28
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    767

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    Bella and I bonded within the first day. Charlie, I didn't really bond with until about 2 months in. Give it time

  9. #29
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Wodonga
    Posts
    2,672

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    Took me 18 months to bond with cappy. Sometimes it takes time

  10. #30

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    I took years to bond with one of my skin babies. It just happens.. not your fault. It doesn't mean you are a "bad" person, if you were, you'd have just dumped her at the RSPCA or something.

    I am sure in time your bond will form

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