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Thread: Feel Distant

  1. #11
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    Tara, first thing you need to do is take a biiiig deep breath and calm down, crying twice a day is only upsetting you more, and Jade will be picking up on how you are feeling.

    You have been very brave to post how you are feeling, good for you! Hopefully by now having read the other posts you are realising you're not the only one who feels like this. Sometimes it does take time to bond - you can't force it to happen NOW, it will happen when it happens - and it WILL happen!

    I've been there with my old girl Ammy, when she came into my life 16 years ago whilst I loved her and cared for her, I always thought of her as my second dog. I had a silky boy that I was besotted with and I knew I felt different levels of love for both of them. I went through a period where I felt guilty, but eventually I just accepted it. She was still spoilt rotten, but like you the connection wasn't there. When my silky boy went to the bridge I was inconsolable for months, would break down into a sobbing heap at work, I never thought I would feel like that about a dog again.

    The funny thing is I don't know when the connection happened, but it did, and I didn't recognise it properly until I was nursing my terminally ill mother. Ammy was there for both of us, she was my rock and kept me sane through the worst time of my life. I realised I had a very special little dog, and now I love her with all my heart. She won't be around much longer, and I am going to suffer dreadfully without her, no matter how much I prepare myself.

    Tara, don't put too much pressure on yourself about how you feel about Jade, I suspect you will be like me, you won't realise the connection has happened until after it's happened!

    In My Home Dog Minding
    www.greyhoundrescue.com.au

  2. #12
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    This can be normal. It happens at times too with kids. I had no real bond with my first son for about a year. It happens. Don't dwell on it and it should sneak up on you when you least expect it.
    I thought I was abnormal as a mother because not bonding with a baby is a hidden subject. What law states that we have to instantly love any pet?
    Just relax.

    Any posts made under the name of Di_dee1 one can be used by anyone as I do not give a rats.

  3. #13
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    Thank you all so much for your kind word's and helpful advice. ITs just so strange thing, cos i was sooooooo over joyed when we got her and then everything changed. I dont know if its because she is not what i thought she would be, if i have forgotten how hard to puppy stage is, or if simply i am been over dramatic and should just let it happen, but i do feel so much better having spoken to people who care and understand my situation.

    So with all my heart thank you all so much, xxxx

  4. #14
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    Tara, the other thing to consider is what else is going on in your life, sometimes other stresses can affect the way we feel about unrelated things. I know I am guilty of that.

    Don't underestimate how hard the whole puppy thing is, that's one reason why I personally have chosen to avoid pups, I don't have the patience and I'm too lazy!

    In My Home Dog Minding
    www.greyhoundrescue.com.au

  5. #15
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    You've has some great replies and I just wanted to reiterate what has already been said. I'm sure it will happen, probably when you least expect it.

    I didn't 'bond' with Jenna straight away. Cute as she was as a puppy, she was hard work and I'm afraid I was guilty of comparing her to my last dog who was a complete angel.

    I'm not a fan of the puppy stage at all. I like my sleep and I was getting precious little of it for the first month or so. I have also found training Jenna particularly frustrating as she is taking much longer than anticipated to 'get it'. Finally, though, at 8 months we are getting there. It may only be the basics; sit, down, stay, come but it's till enormous progress.

    Give yourself, and Jade, time and don't put pressure on yourself to feel the 'right' way about her.
    The best things in life, aren't things

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tkay View Post
    You've has some great replies and I just wanted to reiterate what has already been said. I'm sure it will happen, probably when you least expect it.

    I didn't 'bond' with Jenna straight away. Cute as she was as a puppy, she was hard work and I'm afraid I was guilty of comparing her to my last dog who was a complete angel.

    I'm not a fan of the puppy stage at all. I like my sleep and I was getting precious little of it for the first month or so. I have also found training Jenna particularly frustrating as she is taking much longer than anticipated to 'get it'. Finally, though, at 8 months we are getting there. It may only be the basics; sit, down, stay, come but it's till enormous progress.

    Give yourself, and Jade, time and don't put pressure on yourself to feel the 'right' way about her.
    You sound like me so much its freaky, that is totally what i am going through and have done. WOW scary.

  7. #17
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    Well, in that case, I really hope it helps to know that I now absolutely love Jenna to bits. She's different to Holly (my old Lab) but it doesn't matter anymore, she's gorgeous just as she is.

    You WILL get there
    The best things in life, aren't things

  8. #18
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    Tell us when you do too so we can say... told ya, OK? Hugs.

    Any posts made under the name of Di_dee1 one can be used by anyone as I do not give a rats.

  9. #19
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    Okay xxx

  10. #20
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    taraboombara

    I don't love every dog I meet. I find some really obnoxious and some really vacant or boring. I find Frosty extremely frustrating at times, but most of the time I think she's great. There are occasions where I can't be stuffed and nothing, not the dog or anything else helps, I just wait those out, do what I've got to do, if I can find some dark chocolate I eat it. I really ought to be ten tonne tessie with the amount of comfort eating I do, just as well I go for two long walks every day and hockey starts again tomorrow night.

    try "going with the flow" for a while, and just do stuff anyway with the dog, like walks and training and treats and don't try to force how you think you "should" feel about her. How you feel is how you feel. It's good to ask questions about it because you can change how you think which sometimes changes how you feel, and what you eat can affect how you feel, and how much exercise too, and other things (good and bad) can affect.

    Is there some music you like to listen to that cheers you up? Dr Bucket (that's Dr Bookay) - prescribes some cheer up music or some wallow in blues music - your choice.

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