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Thread: ARGH! Why Has Everything Gone Backwards???

  1. #1
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    Default ARGH! Why Has Everything Gone Backwards???

    Sorry guys, just need to vent and hubby just doesn't get it...

    I'm having a BAD day with Batty. I have today off, which doesn't happen too often, but it does happen. I know that bad days happen but this one has knocked me for six.

    I've been trying to work on my bond with Batty, because it isn't a strong bond. I feed him, walk him, play with him, take him for toilets, train him, take him to puppy school, basically I do everything for him that he needs.

    I'm starting to think that I've been doing too much reading about young puppies and what you're supposed to do. Batty is my first EVER puppy, and I love him to bits, I wouldn't trade him for anything in the world. Adult dogs have never been a problem to me, so why is this puppy giving me such a headache?

    I've had good leadership thrust down my throat again and again, I've been doing almost everything by the book (I'm flexible but the theory is still the same) and I'm starting to think it's a big crock of merde...

    I'm at the point of wanting to throw out the books and do it all by myself, but I'm scared of that too because I don't want a monster puppy, but following the books is giving me a little monster who instead of having lessened sep anx is getting worse with it. I don't make a fuss when we leave (he's crated anywhere from 15 mins to 45 mins before we leave) I don't let him out the second I get home and when I do let him out I take him outside for the toilet and he gets his hello's after that.

    I'm proud of the fact that he is very brave and doesn't get scared easily. I'm proud of him understanding the commands he does, although he's more of a hand signal type of puppy. I'm ecstatic that he's a happy healthy pup.

    Today he is running away from me when I call him (no I don't chase), barking at me like mad for no reason, jumping on the couches, he's somehow gotten hold of 3 DVD's and destroyed them (that's going to be fun to explain to hubby) and generally being a little bas*ard.

    I want to tear my hair out, I want to start all over again but I don't know where to start.

    Sorry for the whining, self pity crud, I honestly just needed to let it all out.

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angela's Gone Batty View Post
    Sorry guys, just need to vent and hubby just doesn't get it...

    I'm having a BAD day with Batty. I have today off, which doesn't happen too often, but it does happen. I know that bad days happen but this one has knocked me for six.

    I've been trying to work on my bond with Batty, because it isn't a strong bond. I feed him, walk him, play with him, take him for toilets, train him, take him to puppy school, basically I do everything for him that he needs.

    I'm starting to think that I've been doing too much reading about young puppies and what you're supposed to do. Batty is my first EVER puppy, and I love him to bits, I wouldn't trade him for anything in the world. Adult dogs have never been a problem to me, so why is this puppy giving me such a headache?

    I've had good leadership thrust down my throat again and again, I've been doing almost everything by the book (I'm flexible but the theory is still the same) and I'm starting to think it's a big crock of merde...

    I'm at the point of wanting to throw out the books and do it all by myself, but I'm scared of that too because I don't want a monster puppy, but following the books is giving me a little monster who instead of having lessened sep anx is getting worse with it. I don't make a fuss when we leave (he's crated anywhere from 15 mins to 45 mins before we leave) I don't let him out the second I get home and when I do let him out I take him outside for the toilet and he gets his hello's after that.

    I'm proud of the fact that he is very brave and doesn't get scared easily. I'm proud of him understanding the commands he does, although he's more of a hand signal type of puppy. I'm ecstatic that he's a happy healthy pup.

    Today he is running away from me when I call him (no I don't chase), barking at me like mad for no reason, jumping on the couches, he's somehow gotten hold of 3 DVD's and destroyed them (that's going to be fun to explain to hubby) and generally being a little bas*ard.

    I want to tear my hair out, I want to start all over again but I don't know where to start.

    Sorry for the whining, self pity crud, I honestly just needed to let it all out.
    Feel better Angela? Good.

    When I take on a new puppy, in my brain it really is like bringing a new baby home from the hospital. I know that sounds like an extreme over-the-top comparison, but it helps me to cope with the first few months of initial training.

    Firstly, why do you think your bond with Batty is not so good? Can you please leaborate on that further if possible? I mean precisely?

    Look, sometimes one can read so many books, study so much, yet life and experience teaches us the most in the end. If you feel frustrated by the book, so to speak, chuck it out the door for a week and work with your instincts.

    Puppies are a headache, as are children sometimes. Be happy that they reach adulthood by around 24 months, instead of 28 years or so. PMSL.

    1) How have you been dealing with his separation anxiety, please?

    2) How have you been teaching Batty recall - coming on command etc?

    3) How have you been trying to teach him to stay off the couches?

    4) The DVDs. Your fault, or whoever left them out. I have puppy proofed my house. Last night my son just chucked his jandals down on the lounge floor. Now he KNOWS to put them away. Inca got one. OH took it off her, then rightly so chastised our son for leaving them there in the first place. Are you understanding at all? It is like a baby. Once they are crawling, if they put things into their mouths they shouldn't that is MY FAULT.

    Talk to you after you have realyed answers to my questions. Take a deep breath BTW - it does get easier!

  3. #3
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    28 years? OMG. I meant 18 years. Lol.

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    Hi AGB

    Firstly...take a deep breath and give Batty a cuddle

    Look...he is a puppy and they do puppy things...like chewing up 3 DVD when they can...eat your $400 NIKE runners...chew the corners of 6 BRAND NEW white leather dining chairs (yes...this happened here with Rotty pup).

    I believe there is such a thing as too many DVD's and books regarding all this. What does your gut instinct tell you regarding training him. Sure he needs leadership, but he needs bonding too. He needs to be allowed to be a puppy without having "leadership" rammed down his throat. If he chewed up DVD's, then it is our fault for letting him get to them

    "Today he is running away from me when I call him (no I don't chase), barking at me like mad for no reason, jumping on the couches, he's somehow gotten hold of 3 DVD's and destroyed them (that's going to be fun to explain to hubby) and generally being a little bas*ard."

    Does that comment remind you of anything? Does it remind you of a child in their terrible two's? How old is Batty now?

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    Chill! He's being a regular puppy, excited, silly at times and getting braver.

    They are not robots and even when we do all the things we are meant to do they will still do all the things that puppies are meant to do. By following guidelines and I say guidelines for a reason eg not greeting first thing with enthusiasm doesn't mean we will absolutely end up with a dog that doesn't fret when left alone, but it does mean that you will lesson the chances of having a dog that will be a basket case when left alone.

    If your not used to having a puppy take it easy on yourself. Puppies are naughty, delightful, cheeky little bundles of joy.

  6. #6
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    AGB I too thought "terrible two's" as Clea suggested. I will admit I try to avoid having puppies so have little or no experience, but maybe Batty is starting to go through that "challenging" phase, by that I mean challenges your authority.

    It sounds like you are doing a great job with him, but don't get so over zealous in his training that YOU forget to RELAX - dogs pick up on our moods so easily, if you are stressed then he will pick up on it. I know that when I get like that I notice that my lot get a bit naughty. Yes I will tell them off, but end up telling myself off more! Once I relax and calm down and get over whatever it is that is getting up my nose the gang also calm down.

    Off Topic - DA - "jandals"! I don't hear that expression much here teehee.

    In My Home Dog Minding
    www.greyhoundrescue.com.au

  7. #7
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    Oh yeah - it's supposed to be thongs apparently. My sons look at me odd, as does my mother, husband, well...everybody. Lol.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Devil's Advocate View Post
    Feel better Angela? Good.
    Much thank you

    Quote Originally Posted by Devil's Advocate View Post
    When I take on a new puppy, in my brain it really is like bringing a new baby home from the hospital. I know that sounds like an extreme over-the-top comparison, but it helps me to cope with the first few months of initial training.

    Firstly, why do you think your bond with Batty is not so good? Can you please leaborate on that further if possible? I mean precisely?
    I honestly have no idea about babies and what it's like to bring them home.

    It's very hard for me to explain, the connection is there some times and not there other times. It's like he gets the devil in him and just wants to run amok.

    Quote Originally Posted by Devil's Advocate View Post
    Look, sometimes one can read so many books, study so much, yet life and experience teaches us the most in the end. If you feel frustrated by the book, so to speak, chuck it out the door for a week and work with your instincts.
    Books have already been packed into a box and gone into the storage room.

    Quote Originally Posted by Devil's Advocate View Post
    Puppies are a headache, as are children sometimes. Be happy that they reach adulthood by around 24 months, instead of 28 years or so. PMSL.
    I definitely am very grateful for this!

    1) How have you been dealing with his separation anxiety, please?

    Randomly removing myself from his company starting at about 10 mins, only coming back in when it's quiet. Going out the front door to check the mail and staying out longer than I need to until he is quiet for a couple of minutes and then coming in and ignoring him when I'm in there until he lays down and starts to relax (usually he does a BIG sigh) then I calmly call him over to me if I want to give him a pat, otherwise I let him fall asleep. I use NILIF for everything and use TOT at feeding time as well - he's great at the TOT as well! Already working without the tether.

    2) How have you been teaching Batty recall - coming on command etc?

    Using both Clea's food circuit method and randomly calling him during the day and heavily praising him when he comes to me. I don't always have treats on me but if I don't he gets a little game and lots of praise.

    3) How have you been trying to teach him to stay off the couches?

    When he jumps at them or jumps on them he is told Off, if he's on the couches he is placed on the ground onto his mat. Later I intend to teach him he's allowed if he's invited, but I don't want that yet until he understands he can't just jump on them because he wants to.

    4) The DVDs. Your fault, or whoever left them out. I have puppy proofed my house. Last night my son just chucked his jandals down on the lounge floor. Now he KNOWS to put them away. Inca got one. OH took it off her, then rightly so chastised our son for leaving them there in the first place. Are you understanding at all? It is like a baby. Once they are crawling, if they put things into their mouths they shouldn't that is MY FAULT.

    The DVD's were up on top of the entertainment unit (we have an old style one with a window for the TV and a shelf above it) well out of his reach. I honestly have no idea how he got them the only thing I can come up with is the NDN's cat has knocked them when he's gotten indoors, but I can't for the life of me think when he could have done that. It's driving me mental. I know it's not his fault and it is my fault, it was more of a "oh crud, gotta explain that to hubby now...". That shelf is at about my ear height and I'm 5'4".

    Talk to you after you have realyed answers to my questions. Take a deep breath BTW - it does get easier![/QUOTE]

    Done. I do know it does get better, just very very frustrated. I had been thinking that I'm doing the right thing by him, that I'm doing the right things to combat the seperation anxiety and that I'm encouraging him in the right way. Just this morning has made me doubt everything.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleasanta View Post
    Hi AGB

    Firstly...take a deep breath and give Batty a cuddle

    Look...he is a puppy and they do puppy things...like chewing up 3 DVD when they can...eat your $400 NIKE runners...chew the corners of 6 BRAND NEW white leather dining chairs (yes...this happened here with Rotty pup).

    I believe there is such a thing as too many DVD's and books regarding all this. What does your gut instinct tell you regarding training him. Sure he needs leadership, but he needs bonding too. He needs to be allowed to be a puppy without having "leadership" rammed down his throat. If he chewed up DVD's, then it is our fault for letting him get to them

    "Today he is running away from me when I call him (no I don't chase), barking at me like mad for no reason, jumping on the couches, he's somehow gotten hold of 3 DVD's and destroyed them (that's going to be fun to explain to hubby) and generally being a little bas*ard."

    Does that comment remind you of anything? Does it remind you of a child in their terrible two's? How old is Batty now?
    He's 13.5 weeks old. My friends have kids aged between 4 and 19, except one who has a daughter (my god-daughter) and she's not even one yet. All I've seen are the toddlers chucking a tanty in the supermarket, which is when I get my butt to the opposite end of the store to stay as far away as possible. I have heard the horror stories though so I do kind of understand.

  9. #9
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    Oh, I do want to add that he didn't get in trouble for the DVD's, he did get told no when he had them then I cleaned them all up. He went from the DVD's to a pigs ear, and got praised for chewing the pigs ear. I do know that it's not his fault at all that he got hold of them. On the plus side, now he's tuckered out he's fallen asleep under my chair.

  10. #10
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    OK, about less than 2 weeks older than my lot and DA's.
    THEY ARE TURDS AT THIS AGE, well, four together are. Do not expect what books tell you, every dog is different and will mature at different stages. (just bringing kids into it again, my daughter in law went by the book first kid, went nuts if he didn't have some achievement bang on the time the book said so, second kid, she would refer to the book occasionally if she was troubled, third, she hasn't looked at it, fourth on the way and there is a garrage sale soon)

    Moral of the story, books are a guide and an addition to your gut head and head feel. WE have to look around at their level to see what they can get into, 'cause they will. They will not at times want to obey us, so they won't. Bandit today would not come inside from a wee no matter how I called, lay in the shade looking at me. I got the treats he loves, opened the package so he could see and hear and stood back as he shot inside like lightning.

    Any posts made under the name of Di_dee1 one can be used by anyone as I do not give a rats.

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