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Thread: 8 years on. It does get easier...

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
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    Melbourne VIC
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    607

    Red face

    Quote Originally Posted by 99bottles View Post
    My father passed away just over 10 years ago now when I was 15. I don't think it really gets easier. I still often find myself thinking what I wouldn't give for just 10 minutes with him today, just to see him as an adult. I thought I was all grown up at 15 but well, then you hit your 20's and your relationships with everyone you knew as a child start to transform into adult relationships. I wish I had got to have that with my dad.
    I guess that makes us the same age then. On my 18th birthday I was the computer at midnight, waiting for it to tick over to my birthday. Five seconds into my birthday, I sat there as tears rolled down my cheeks because that was the first milestone my dad would miss, of many more to come. It was hard and I'm sure when I get married and have my first child it will be the same, but you take them as they come, as I'm sure you have realised.

    I also wonder what it would be like to speak to my father as an adult, but then I think it's probably best to keep my memories with him as a naive child instead. They are good memories to hold onto.

  2. #12

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by The Pawfectionist View Post
    I guess that makes us the same age then. On my 18th birthday I was the computer at midnight, waiting for it to tick over to my birthday. Five seconds into my birthday, I sat there as tears rolled down my cheeks because that was the first milestone my dad would miss, of many more to come. It was hard and I'm sure when I get married and have my first child it will be the same, but you take them as they come, as I'm sure you have realised.

    I also wonder what it would be like to speak to my father as an adult, but then I think it's probably best to keep my memories with him as a naive child instead. They are good memories to hold onto.
    And how are you finding being 25? I think it's quite a good age personally lol. I do the same thing though. Finishing school, uni, turning 18, 21 etc. Especially when new people become important to me, I wish I could have introduced them to dad. I believe now though that maybe he's still there watching sometimes. When my grandfather passed away, I loved him as much as my dad really but it felt like he had gone. With dad, it feels different, like sometimes he's almost still there somewhere. I wonder if it's because all of pop's people had already gone really so he went to be with them again, but in dad's case, he went way too soon, and all his people/generation whatever are still here so he maybe he is staying with them, with us.
    It is still very hard for me to accept that I will never see him again in my life.

    I think I would have liked my dad as an adult. He wasn't really the fatherly type lol and tbh I'm not sure that he ever really wanted kids. But I think as a child sometimes we're too harsh in a way, like we don't understand why people can't just move past things and be someone different, and we never know the whole story. Maybe that was just me. Some people just don't have much interest in kids, baby animals etc and I think maybe I take after him in that regard.

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
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    BrisVagas
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    Default

    Thanks for those kind words..

    There's a little bit more to it than her just selling the furniture but
    I won't talk to my Mum ever again unless she makes the first move
    which she wont as she is coming into a lot of money from my Dad..
    Money changes people and once my Mum gets this money she wont
    give a crap.
    Sad but true. It's my kids that miss out of their grandparent that hurts.

    I just try and get on with it and look after my own family (husband & Kids).
    Sometimes a death brings out the real person in some and it has done just
    that to my mum..

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