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Thread: Can You Give Me Your Thoughts?. Moving Out.

  1. #1
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    Default Can You Give Me Your Thoughts?. Moving Out.

    I was just wondering if some one could give me your thoughts..

    I'm 19 now and I would like to move out but I know it isn't a good idea unless I can move out with a friend or if I just save, save and save and move out when I'm between 22-25. My friend and I were talking and we discussed moving out near the end of this year and I was happy about it, or I thought I was. We talked about the dogs since I want inside dogs and I was alright with what she wanted, example; no dogs on the furniture, dogs can't be inside all the time. Then last night I slept over at her place and her dad and I were talking with my friends dad had a small go at me about the dogs being inside cause he doesn't like dogs inside but I blankly said 'It will be me and Sarah moving out and we've talked about the dogs' and I walked out to her room.

    I was thinking about this all night/day and now I'm starting to think. Should I really move out so soon?. I mean, I'd have to live with some one, it would be to hard to save money cause for payment on rent and so forth, I can't even have my dogs inside when I want. If I wait and save, even if it's 3 or 4 years later, the dogs will have to live outside but I am moving to the shed so that means the dogs can be in the shed with me aslong as I am in there [which will be all the time since I spend almost 24/7 in my room unless I am not with the dogs], I will still be living with mum but at least I'll be able to save money, dogs will be allowed with me as much as I want them to be.

    The part of not moving out sounds better actually. I do want to move out but I love and adore my dogs and like having them with me and not being told what to do with them (my mum never tells me what to do with them since there mine, yet, my friend probably will). To make it worse, her father made a personal attack on Serenity cause she's unsure of certain people/loud or odd noises and will go off (barking/growling) and he was saying how I shouldn't have a dog like that.. and now my friend looks down on Serenity. It pissed me off. She isn't a bad dog.

    I was just wondering, do you guys think it's a better idea just to stay at home and save the money so the day I save enough money, I can move out by myself with the dogs.

    Currently I live in the house and the dogs can only sleep inside my room at night but I am moving into the shed in a month and then the dogs will be allowed in there 24/7, aslong as I am in there and I spend all my time in my room if I am not working or not with the dogs.
    Last edited by TahsSunny; 12-05-2010 at 08:44 PM.

  2. #2
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    Also, it would be me and my friend moving out, just us two. I really am thinking maybe I should stay but I'd like others thoughts.

  3. #3
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    First of all, why do you want to move out? It seems like you have it pretty good at home already.
    I think you already know the answer

    As for Serenity's fear issues, its really important you get on top of those. It sounds like the beginning of fear aggression.
    Education not Legislation

  4. #4
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    i guess I wanted to move out because... I'm an idiot! lol. I guess cause I wanted that independicy and to be away from home but I have thought about it more and you are right, I do have it great.. and I can just save and move out in a few years. I'd prefer that then renting and not being able to save. Then, I can have my dogs inside as much as I like, they can be on the furniture and I don't need anyone bossing me around cause it would be my house.

    Now, I'm going to have to tell my friend.. She is going to be so pissed.

    I have only just realized this past week it's fear issues [I really didn't know she had fear issues cause sometimes she will lunge and bark at people, sometimes she will hide behind me and bark/growl or she'll stay in one spot and do it but then sometimes she will be fine and not be bothered by people but this behavior only happens when I am alone with her, do you know why this might be?] so I will get on top of it but I don't know what to do about it so she isn't fearful so I'll walk to the trainers I see for our puppy school tomorrow.

    Thanks for making me actually think about this more.
    Last edited by TahsSunny; 12-05-2010 at 09:27 PM.

  5. #5
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    I also guess it's the fact I want to live under my own rule instead of my mums but.. I do have it good, better then good actually so Thank you for letting me realize I was going to make a mistake.

  6. #6
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    Usually fear aggression is caused by either lack of socialisation, a traumatic event, breed tendancies or individual tendancies.
    Is it only with people? Or more specifically stranger?
    Education not Legislation

  7. #7
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    As far as I know, since I have had her she has not had a bad experience with people and she even got a lot of socialization with kids quite a lot when she was younger but she was having fun with them unless that did scare her and I didn't know . Well, she's a Kelpie x ACD [though, I think u knew this] with another breed mixed in Im starting to think and there known to being protective.

    I have a hard time answering your question because she does it only with strangers but not all the time.. and she did it once with my step-dad but he was on a bike and was wearing a helmet. Here are some examples of what she does, you don't need to reply to this but I thought I could give you an example of what she does.

    She went off at my step-dad but he was riding a bike and wearing a helmet. She ran behind me but continued barking/growling and charged forwards randomly and once he took his helmet off, she continued the behavior randomly, i think it's the bike she did not like. See, she only does this when I am by myself with her most of the time. Here are some examples:

    1. I know she doesn't like odd/suprising sounds because I was sitting down with her and a kid riding a scooter came riding past and she sat beside me, barking and growling. The time before, I was sitting down with some kids and a door slammed cause some one was closing it and Serenity ran towards the noise barking/growling. [She was off leash here and we were in a small park]

    2. I was walking and I stopped to talk to a kid, she was standing in front of me and she made her 'rooing' noise. [Was on leash]

    3. A week later, I stopped and these two kids went to pet her and Sunny, she went off but ran behind me. These kids were fearful of the dogs though but still pet them. [Was on leash]

    4. Another time i was sitting down with my back turned towards this gate (playing with her) and she went off and charged forwards but stopped at a certain distance and barked/growled and then she sat beside me and started growling/barking cause these kids were walking near us. [She was off leash with this incident]

    5. Last incident, I was walking home and these people were getting out of there car and she charged towards them and was barking. [She was off leashwe were walking home so I let her off, she doesn't run and stays close to me]

    [These incidents here only have happened while I have let her off leash when school is over but the teachers are there and I do ask them if Serenity can approach them before she gets to them so I don't just let her run to people]
    Other times I have been along but strangers have approached us she has ran up to them but before they could pet her, she'd run back to me.

    When we are around ALOT of people, she is perfectly fine with people. No barking, growling, nothing. She's even more friendly with people and goes up to get pets if some one wants to pet her. Is it something I am doing? . I mean, she only does this when I am by myself with her.

    I want to point out, I have ALWAYS called told her to stay beside me if I see she is about to do this behavior and I say 'UH UH' if she does the behavior and I reward her if she's behaving.

  8. #8
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    Sorry for rambling on. She just confuses me..

    She also acted very snarky towards other pups and would attack/try to attack other puppies if they were to pushy for her but thankfully, we had a break through last week and she finally played with other puppies and even with a older dog!. She did the bad behavior for a few weeks but now is just starting to come around.

    don't get me wrong though, she is a amazing, smart, loyal girl who I just adore and I spend a lot of time training, playing with her and socializing her when i can.

  9. #9
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    Education not Legislation

  10. #10
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    Reading your posts remind me of going through exactly the same question of whether to move out or not at age 19. I had already been away working and travelling for a year when I was 18 and came back to study and felt a bit restricted being home. I eventally decided not to and moved out when I was 21 when I moved away for a job. Having a shed to move into sounds perfect especially as your mum is happy about the dog. The other situation sounds potentially problematic especially if you are having slight dog issues.

    I had a dog that showed similar fear tendencies to people that appeared suddenly or were wearing strange hats. She also didnt like being jumped on by other dogs.

    I spent a lot of time obedience training her and she had an awesome heel. I also taught her to watch me. I would get her to look at what ever was upsetting her and then to look at me. I rewarded her for this behaviour.

    So if she started reacting to a stranger I would heel her away and then at a distance where she wasnt reacting I would say look whos that, she would look and I would treat, then she would look back at me and I would treat her. Eventually she began to relax and associate the appearance of a stranger with a treat. It is called desensitisation and counter conditioning, a sort of rewiring of the brain. After a while she would stay in a tight heel by my side and if something that unnerved her happened she would immediately look to me and I would praise her. Her fear aggression was much worse that you are describing with your dog.
    Last edited by Kalacreek; 12-07-2010 at 12:46 AM.

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