Oh Im sorry hun Men/boys/sons/husbands lets just say males are hard creatures to figure out sometimes.

?maybe his thinking is you may want to spend the day after wedding relaxing with husband?

No, he just wants to go see this band and get drunk and possibly take drugs!

Well then... can I offer my services then? I am skilled in butt-kicking

Thank you rebec, that is very kind of you!

Males think?

Wow, I learn something new here every day!

Bohemiannic

I think you are going to need to let go, and if you give him anything or help him with anything - expect nothing in return - because it looks like that's what you're going to get. Only help him if that's what you need to do to live with yourself. Anything else would be "enabling" his bad behaviour. If you do expect something in return like repayment of time or money - put it in writing and make it into a contract.

My mum keeps track of how much money she has given each of her children and makes sure that the other ones get balanced out - either when she dies or if they ask or usually when they're shopping for a house. I've got no idea how she manages it except I got a lot more help than I expected when I bought this house - because it balanced out what she'd done for my siblings.

I don't get equal babysitting time for my dog that she gives to my siblings' children (and one of their dogs) but you can't have everything.

I hope you find a balance that works for you, Bohemiannic. And join the SKI club (Spend Kids Inheritance).

Thanks Hyacinth, I think the SKI club wouldn't accept me as all the inheritance is already gone! That is until I receive an inheritance and if I do, I will make sure it all goes the way of the SKI club! I think with the boy I just have to expect to be disappointed or just have no expectations at all!
Priority in my life is my OH, Ralph and Damien (in no particular order).
Your mum sounds like a wise woman Hyacinth, just a shame about the babysitting time!

.......................sigh

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The only gig i would go see instead of a family engagement would be AC/DC only cause its likely the last time they tour OZ.

But i didnt have any issues as i took my Mum,bro,sis with me,she's still an AC/DC fan at 50 lol.

But any other band,no way i'd put infront of family.

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"If you're going through hell, keep going"

Unfortunately when they reach their 30s and don't live at home, they do whatever they want to! One day he will get a reality check! Some times he can be a good kid and can be thoughtful like when Ralph first came home from Sydney Uni, he came over a couple of afternoons to help me with Ralph, but other times he is just insensitive! Like I never thought that I would get to 50 after breast cancer in my 30s, respiratory collapse (died twice in a couple of days), back in 2002. Loads of other health problems etc., so to me it is a really big milestone. Obviously it isn't such a big thing to him!
Hey, you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family. I am just now resigned to the fact that it doesn't matter to him.