Page 2 of 5 FirstFirst 1234 ... LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 42

Thread: A Very Childish Relationship Dillema.

  1. #11
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Victoria
    Posts
    4,241

    Default

    I have always had a 'thing' for him.
    How is it fair though that she gets a chance with him and I dont?
    Education not Legislation

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Hawkesbury, NSW
    Posts
    2,001

    Default

    Myf, ditching mates when a new bloke comes on the scene is par for the course, yes it can be hurtful, but at the same time a true friend would be happy to see another friend happy, and when it all turns to sh*t will be there to offer a shoulder to cry on.

    I have 3 best friends, the 4 of us started primary school on the same day, that was nearly 40 years ago. 2 are still in NZ, 1 lives locally. Even the local one I only see every couple of months, but we have always been there for each other. There is no way that any of us would have ever done anything to hurt each other, and that includes dating each others' exes (not that we would have wanted to lol).

    They mean the world to me, you need to decide if your best friend really is your best friend, or if you are simply growing apart and heading in different directions.

    In My Home Dog Minding
    www.greyhoundrescue.com.au

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    1,048

    Default

    That's the thing - it's not. Though for me ex's of my friends are off limits, that might not be the same for you. There's nothing wrong with you going out with him... there's a but coming up. BUT, it's very different from your friends POV. You can go out with him all you want - in my group at school it's like Pass the Boy - most of us (excluding me, lol) bounce from one boy to another, no matter who's ex...

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    WA
    Posts
    803

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by aussiemyf7 View Post
    I have always had a 'thing' for him.
    How is it fair though that she gets a chance with him and I dont?
    Ill tell you my story me and OH.
    He has liked me since the day he met me. That was 5 years ago. At the time I had a boyfriend and he didnt say anything until me and ex broke up and since them we been together and be happy.

    He went out with 3 of my mates. During that time we were best friends.

    You come across as a chick that takes relationships seriously and you wouldnt of done this if the guys didnt mean much to you

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    1,014

    Default

    I sorry I feel friends ex's are off limits too.
    I wouldn't be happy with my best friend dating my ex, however if she did it behind my back I'd be royaly pi$$ed

  6. #16
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Victoria
    Posts
    4,241

    Default

    You know, this is actually a friend I have accused of being ignorant, she bred her Maltese X Shih Tzus, believes in pet shop puppies and thinks shelter dogs are messed up.
    Members of this very forum have told me to ditch her before.
    Education not Legislation

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    1,048

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Bordeaux View Post
    I sorry I feel friends ex's are off limits too.
    I wouldn't be happy with my best friend dating my ex, however if she did it behind my back I'd be royaly pi$$ed
    Agreed. Maybe if you wouldve come out with it straight away? Unless you were trying to see if it would work out?

  8. #18
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Victoria
    Posts
    4,241

    Default

    Thats what it was Masha, I wasn't sure how serious it would be. I would have told her, but not till i knew it could have been somthing more long term than 3 weeks. I hadn't told anyone!
    Education not Legislation

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    1,048

    Default

    That makes more sense. Yea, I think that no matter if my friend was dating my ex, I would be happy for her since she'd be happy.
    Its very different for people though

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Adelaide
    Posts
    12,581

    Default

    Aussiemyf

    Technically - no you haven't done anything wrong but
    emotionally - yes wrong - even if your GF said go right ahead, she wouldn't mean it and she'd be angry with you if you went out with her ex. The exception might be if she made a big effort to set you two up, and you hadn't asked her to. That would mean she thought he was a great guy but not the right one for her.

    Also - if he's wrong for her, what makes you think he'd be right for you? I don't know how the previous relationship ended but you complicate things by getting sucked in. He might have done something disgusting, or he might be a charming liar, or he might even be still sleeping with her or trying to get back with her. Or she might be jealous and irrational and greedy. I used to be jealous if any man that had previously asked me out, then asked someone else - made me feel less "special" too. And I'd feel that way even if I never went out with the bloke. But that kind of jealousy - I keep to myself because it's more my personal character flaw, embarrassing to share.

    This is very high school of me: I didn't have much respect for the girls who used to get passed around a group of boys. Or the boy who would go out with all the girls in one group. Ickky. I think those "bachelor/bachelorette" shows on tv are just a bit perverted.

    If you're happy to ditch your GF forever, then go for it with this man. Bear in mind it may have been him that persuaded her to ditch you at the time, some men do that. Where is the HB manipulator file when I need it.

    And I wouldn't be too hung up about finding "The One" because that only leads to trouble any time you meet a man that fires your blood. You ask yourself "Is he the one?" - no he's just a charming bloke who says what you want to hear, and has compatible pheremones. There's got to be more to it than the feeling of him being "the one" and love at first sight and all that.

    check the red flag list here, and then decide if you're good to go. If you know why the previous relationship ended (from both sides' POV) you have a head start.

    Heartless Bitches International - Manipulator files and Red Flag list

    Watch out for the control freak side that might be why your GF used to ditch him. Ie anything that stops you from doing some of the things you used to do regularily so you can be with him like ditching your friends.

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •