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Thread: Just Need 'outsider' Advice

  1. #31
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
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    South Coast NSW
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hyacinth View Post
    Christmas on your own? Ouch.

    Maybe you and puggerup could start a dogforum "Orphans" christmas picnic or something?
    you keep posting after me!! lol

    I mean being single. I'll have my family around but its the first time I've had to pay and organise everything for myself. 2 kids for xmas was really expensive for just the few things they asked for and then 2 days later having Brooke's bday and Party. Even shopping has been hard I've had to sneak things in the trolley with their prying eyes watching my every move!

  2. #32
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    Aug 2009
    Location
    Adelaide
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    Hi Sharoo

    Tell him once and leave it. I think you've pretty much arrived at this point anyway.

    You could probably collect your own dna samples given time and opportunity. Then again - he clearly doesn't want to know, but he does know it's a possibility that the child is not his. That's probably enough for now.

    Your (ex?) friend is a puzzle to me. Perhaps her self esteem is so bad she can't handle it if another creature does love her when she thinks she doesn't deserve it so she lashes out or rejects the creature. Then again maybe I'm just being way too optimistic.

    Does the sister know or care what has happened to her dog? Maybe your brother will take it for walks and etc.

    Maybe all you can do now is ignore the behaviour you don't like from both the ex friend and your brother and do what you can to encourage any behaviour that seems more positive. And if your brother sides with this gf, there's no point you saying anything bad about her. Just try to pretend you don't know and focus on any tiny good thing (there must have been some reason why you were friends once).

    My brother used to smoke (self destructive behaviour). I wanted him to quit, so did all the rest of us in his family - but nagging just made it worse. So every now and again we'd say we were sad about it, but leave it there. And I'd make sure every one of his cigarette lighters he left lying around at my place (where he kept his fancy car for a while) just disappeared. Cigarette lighters are very useful for burning rope ends or lighting gas stoves... One time I had a bf that smoked, I used to put his cigarettes in the freezer which didn't seem to get used for anything like food.
    Last edited by Hyacinth; 12-20-2009 at 10:50 PM. Reason: typo

  3. #33
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
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    Devonport, Tasmania
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    6,675

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    Sharoo, you are right with your comment "if she was a true friend"...

    I am amazed at how many ppl calls others "friend" when indeed they are NOT. I feel if you can count friends (and I do mean TRUE friends) on one hand in a lifetime, you are VERY lucky.

    You don't need this person IMO, but then that's your decision to make.
    All the best.

  4. #34
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    South Coast NSW
    Posts
    516

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hyacinth View Post
    Hi Sharoo

    Tell him once and leave it. I think you've pretty much arrived at this point anyway.

    Your (ex?) friend is a puzzle to me. Perhaps her self esteem is so bad she can't handle it if another creature does love her when she thinks she doesn't deserve it so she lashes out or rejects the creature. Then again maybe I'm just being way too optimistic.

    Does the sister know or care what has happened to her dog? Maybe your brother will take it for walks and etc.
    The sister doesn't care. Shes 17 and Pregnant, no money and renting a house with no yard.. She dropped the dog off and hasn't given then a cent towards food etc... My brother won't walk it. Mostly because he can't have his dog there. (She kicked Buddy out) Her sister even said she would like another dog....

    Quote Originally Posted by Devil's Advocate View Post
    Sharoo, you are right with your comment "if she was a true friend"...

    I am amazed at how many ppl calls others "friend" when indeed they are NOT. I feel if you can count friends (and I do mean TRUE friends) on one hand in a lifetime, you are VERY lucky.

    You don't need this person IMO, but then that's your decision to make.
    All the best.
    I'm not going to say anything else to her and if she wants to salvage a friendship its up to her to make the move.
    I have enough dramas in my own life without all hers too.lol

  5. #35
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    Aug 2009
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    Adelaide
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    Hi Sharoo

    I've never had a partner at Christmas time, but I don't have any kids either. Those I'm giving "get rid of the partner" advice need to keep that in mind - I'm happy being single. It is getting difficult though with my siblings busily breeding and telling me off if I don't send cards or presents at birthdays for all the kiddies - never mind giving me a clue what these kids want, and phone call? what the hell do you say to a 1 year old? The three yo likes it when I get Frosty to talk on the phone though.

    One of my sister's ex partners came over for Christmas and failed to survive the family. My sister used to spend hours on the phone with me bitching about him and I'd ask her to tell me three nice things about him at the end because I couldn't understand why she was with him. One of the things she said was "he puts up with all my negative criticism" - um Sis, that's a reason to quit the relationship, not stay. She's got a great bloke now, who knows how to stand up for himself with her and her family.

    In the mean time I think you could rent Muriel's Wedding. I think you'd relate really well this year.

  6. #36

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    I like the way you think Hyacinth.

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