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Thread: Just Need 'outsider' Advice

  1. #21

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    Quote Originally Posted by Malinois-72 View Post
    Even I"m taking this in!!! Believe it or not!!!! Solid advice GSDs4Ever.
    Thanks Matey. Working from home, I get to watch a lot of Dr Phil & Oprah, so I've been in daily "therapy" for about 10 years now. I actually started to put some of the stuff that I watched into practice and bloody hell, knock me over with a feather .... it actually works.

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by GSDs4Ever View Post
    Thanks Matey. Working from home, I get to watch a lot of Dr Phil & Oprah, so I've been in daily "therapy" for about 10 years now. I actually started to put some of the stuff that I watched into practice and bloody hell, knock me over with a feather .... it actually works.
    Dr.Phil is a LEGEND!!!!

  3. #23

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    Quote Originally Posted by Malinois-72 View Post
    Dr.Phil is a LEGEND!!!!
    He's not for everyone, (my Mother hates him ... suck it up & deal with it I say), but I like his "straight shootin', tell it like it is" attitude. He's certainly shaken me up in the "stop being a victim girl & get on with it" department in certain aspects of my life. He was recently in Melb. Rob got tickets & took me out for a nice (although quick) bit of dinner before we choofed off to see him. It was an excellent night out all round. Lots of fun.

  4. #24
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
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    Devonport, Tasmania
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    Yep, everyone has hit it on the head regarding not allowing ppl in your life if they are not constructive for you.

    I haven't seen my father for many many years. He is evil IMO.
    I haven't seen or spoken to one of my brothers in just as many years, as he is so totally up himself. I find him repulsive and sad.

    This doesn't sadden me - it's just the way it is. My choice. It doesn't matter if they are blood-related or not, they are total morons, so easily dealt with.

    Sharoo, walk away from this situation. Not your problem, don't make it yours. Every fool has make their own mistakes, and your brother will learn his one day, but it will be in his own time no matter what anybody else says to him.

  5. #25

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    and DA. I so know "of what you speak my Sista".

  6. #26
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    Aug 2009
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    Adelaide
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    Sharoo

    I'd ditch the friend and stick with your brother.

    If I was you, I'd tell my brother that I think she's wrong for him for lots of reasons (don't need to go into details with him unless he asks), but he is old enough to make his own mistakes. Sometimes a person has to make their own mistakes and sometimes you have to let them, all you can do is be there for them when they figure it out.

    I'd also tell your brother to get a DNA test to check if he is the child's father before he gives any committment to child support - legally. It doesn't mean he can't chip in and help if he feels like (eg let him make his own mistakes), but he shouldn't be legally bound to a baby that is not his - biologically or by adoption.

    I don't know why your friend has to sleep with every bloke who fires her blood, there's something terribly wrong there. Usually very low self esteem though she might bluff / lie about this and it probably isn't something you can do anything to help her fix. I will also never understand people whose idea of fun is go out and get blind drunk. You may want to suggest to your friend that there is an implant that gives 6 months contraception in one go - if she doesn't want to have any more unplanned babies. But she might have wanted this one for some reason. If she really wants unconditional love perhaps she could consider a pound puppy - but then again - I'm not sure I'd wish her on a dog.

    All the stuff copied from other websites should not be posted here, you probably need to remove it right now for various legal reasons. Save it somewhere else if you must, ideally a USB stick that you can take with you or store somewhere separate to your computer (Monica's blue dress). I'm happy to take your word for it she's not very nice and a cheater as well.

    And if your brother is planning to marry this wench - your family - depending on whether they have any money / assets worth protecting, might want to do something to make sure she doesn't get any family assets . She will get half of your brother's money (it's not the end of the world) but you might not want her getting any of the rest of your family money if you can avoid it. There are fairly straightforward methods that accountats or lawyers would be familiar with that would not require her to sign a pre-nup though that might be nice too. Given where your brother is at - he's not likely to ask her to sign a pre-nup if he is going to accept her cheating and agree to take on a child that probably isn't his (given how many other blokes she was sleeping with at the time).

    Hmm, your brother probably needs to get himself a health check. Blech.

    PS you could keep a journal about this and make it into a soap opera script...
    Last edited by Hyacinth; 12-20-2009 at 10:12 PM.

  7. #27
    Join Date
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    Location
    South Coast NSW
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    I'm going to ignore them and walk away from the situation.
    I think if she was a true friend she would have come out and spoke to me before jumping to conclusions based on what other people said.

    I tried letting her know why I was upset and she said she couldn't forgive someone who said what I 'apparently' said. So I give up.. If she wants to lose me as a friend over it - her loss really.

    I'm at the stage when I don't even think I'll be there for my brother when it does fall to pieces. He sides with her all the time, he kept saying for me to talk to her and when I did she didn't even want to sort it out.
    When he broke up with his gf I was going to drive/boat it down to Tassie that night to pick him up and bring him home.
    When he was miserable I was the one that took him out and done everything I possibly could to make him feel better. Then he gets a new gf and pretty much abandoned our friendship & now sides with her through everything rather than upset her.

    I think time out from both of them will do me the world of good.
    I have my first Xmas on my own which also is the day I last saw my xbf to get through and then the 27th is my daughters 4th birthday..

    I think its time I ditch the bad in my life and fill it with the people I love and those that make me happy.

    I've had my fair share oh Dr Phil and Oprah therapy but its always harder to see your own problems.. Thanks heaps for all the advice, I read it all and glad to see everyone was kinda on the same page about it.

  8. #28
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    Adelaide
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    Christmas on your own? Ouch.

    Maybe you and puggerup could start a dogforum "Orphans" christmas picnic or something?

  9. #29
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    South Coast NSW
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    If I was you, I'd tell my brother that I think she's wrong for him for lots of reasons

    I'd also tell your brother to get a DNA test to check if he is the child's father before he gives any committment to child support - legally. It doesn't mean he can't chip in and help if he feels like (eg let him make his own mistakes), but he shouldn't be legally bound to a baby that is not his - biologically or by adoption.
    I warned him since day 1 what she was like. All my other friends did, My parents did and even guys that had 'been there' warned him..

    He would never get a Dna test. As much as I'd like him to its only gonna cause drama if I even suggest it.

    They have 2 dogs. Buddy and Skane. Buddy was kicked out by her because he was apparently biting her son unprovoked (this kid is feral to animals) Buddy has been here about 6 months and we have not had a single incident with him.

    They are 'looking after' her sisters dog and It hasn't left the yard since it was dropped off. She feeds him and that's about it. He craves attention and does anything to get it.

  10. #30

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    So Sharoo, you now have to ask yourself ... "What will make me happy moving forward from this situation ??"

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