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Thread: Vent!!

  1. #21
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    Hell Laura, not a pretty relationship, I'm sorry to say.

    I think you're being duped here big time, and because you probably are still in love with him (?) you can't see it clearly. But I think your eyes are starting to clear.

    i guess everyone is different, but there is no way in this world i would or could ever let anybody treat me the way he is treating you.

    No, he's not much into you or this relationship, and I think he's biding time until he leaves and never comes back.

    I'm sorry Laura. Hugs to you.

  2. #22
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    he is a lovely person genuine and honest
    Hmm, he's not by my understanding of those words. He's not being honest at all with you about how he feels, he's lying by omission at the least.

    The reason I suggested you nick off for a few days - not so much as "moving out" but taking a break from the house and relationship - is to find out if he would miss you at all, from his end, and if that was important enough to him for him to re-arrange his priorities in life. Some guys don't figure out what they've got till it's gone - to quote a song. So get gone and see if he notices. If he doesn't then you have an answer. You might not like it but at least it's honest.

    Just because you love him, doesn't mean he loves you. He might like you, or like the benefits of having you on tap, but you're not the one for him, not going by the way he's been treating you.

    Just in case his phone has gone flat or something - have you got any other way of contacting him or his mates, just to check he hasn't been in a car accident or something (forgivable).

    I haven't got enough fingers to count the number of times I have fallen madly for someone who isn't really interested - though sometimes happy to use me for what he can get. And I haven't got enough fingers to count the number of my friends who have had relationships that have gone as far as children even, where the man has never really conceded that his partner has needs that he ought to be addressing. Some of my friends thought that marrying the bloke would make a difference - usually because the bloke said so but it never did.

    I've got one friend - a bloke - who is a serial relationship overlapper - he gets bored, finds some new chicky babe who fawns over him, and loses interest in the first one - without ever bothering to see what he can do to fire up the first love. He seems to think that "the one" will hold his attention no matter what. I've got quite a few female friends who think the same thing. To quote another tv series that got darker and darker as it went along - "Mad Men" off SBS - "True love was invented by the advertising industry to sell nylons (stockings)". Or the publishing industry to sell books (eg Jane Austin).

    In my opinion - "true love" that lovely warm hot feeling - is not enough. The bloke needs to have some interest in your feelings and doing the right thing by you. That doesn't mean he'll figure it out all by himself, you might have to explain to him what you like / need - but if he doesn't want to listen and ignores completely what you say or even does things you have specifically said you hate, then - you're not the priority you deserve to be in his life.

    Hmm too much...

    But, look at how lopsided things are - you would never treat him the way he's treating you.

  3. #23
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    How can you say he is a lovely genuine honest person? I don't get that either Laura.

    I soooooo agree with Hyacinth.

    You need to wake up and smell the coffee...sorry for being blunt! If things are happening the way you say, then sorry...he really isn't that into you. You need to buy the book and read it....it will ALL come together after finishing it

  4. #24

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    "True Love" is really just a bunch of hormones telling you to have pretty hot sex all the time that usually lasts for about 6 months. After that you really get down to business in the relationship stakes, deciding whether you can go the distance based on whether you actually like each other & are prepared to make a commitment for more than 5 minutes. OO, I just racked up 17 years of marriage ... that's a LOT of 5 minute commitments.

  5. #25
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    Look i dont know the whole situation but i thought i would BRAVELY add something from a "blokes perspective".
    1. We love our partners more than they will ever gives us credit for and I personally sometimes think women are looking far too deep into things. We are simple men after all.
    2. We love our mates as well
    3. There is no doubt we love to be with our mates more than our partners at times. There is a certain comfort zone when surrounded by mates and i think this is loosely based on the fact that mates have little or no expectations of us.
    4. i have been in a relationship for over 10 years and there will be no mariage proposal, just not my thing. We have two beautiful children and a loving family home.

    at the end of the day this matter is only between you and him and only you two will know the whole picture

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by GSDs4Ever View Post
    "True Love" is really just a bunch of hormones telling you to have pretty hot sex all the time that usually lasts for about 6 months. After that you really get down to business in the relationship stakes, deciding whether you can go the distance based on whether you actually like each other & are prepared to make a commitment for more than 5 minutes. OO, I just racked up 17 years of marriage ... that's a LOT of 5 minute commitments.
    12 years here and still going strong!

    I don't just love Steve....I actually like him. I like what he stands for...his morals....his beliefs. I like that he always phones me when he is at work to make sure I am ok. I like that I am still looking forward to him coming home from work every day. He is honest, kind and 100% genuine. It also comes down to compromises in a relationship. To have a good marriage...you need to be able to compromise and it shouldn't always be the same person who does that! You need to admit to making mistakes....you need to commit to the other person...you need to be able to openly communicate. Of course it is not all smooth sailing...things happen...things are said that you wish you could un-say!

    I have always said....the day I don't get "butterflies" in my tummy when I think about Steve...or when I know he is on his way home...that is the day to reassess my life with him

  7. #27
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    I don't just love Steve....I actually like him. I like what he stands for...his morals....his beliefs. I like that he always phones me when he is at work to make sure I am ok. I like that I am still looking forward to him coming home from work every day. He is honest, kind and 100% genuine.
    Quick - put that on a card and give it too him...

  8. #28

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    Pete .... chicks like to talk about their problems over & over & over .... again. We eventually come up with a resolution by just thrashing things out. Men like to offer solutions when a problem is presented & that's the end of the conversation. You have just walked into a "chic talk fest". Thank you for sharing ....

  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by peter70 View Post
    Look i dont know the whole situation but i thought i would BRAVELY add something from a "blokes perspective".
    1. We love our partners more than they will ever gives us credit for and I personally sometimes think women are looking far too deep into things. We are simple men after all.
    2. We love our mates as well
    3. There is no doubt we love to be with our mates more than our partners at times. There is a certain comfort zone when surrounded by mates and i think this is loosely based on the fact that mates have little or no expectations of us.
    4. i have been in a relationship for over 10 years and there will be no mariage proposal, just not my thing. We have two beautiful children and a loving family home.

    at the end of the day this matter is only between you and him and only you two will know the whole picture
    I am so glad a man entered this thread! Men and women DO think differently...that is what makes us men and women.

    You are right Peter...there is always 2 sides to a story and we don't know his side!

    I will however say...there is a difference between hanging out with your mates every once in a while....and preffering to be with them and not touching base as to where you are or what you are doing. This behaviour would NEVER be tolerated here...not from any of us! Both of us would be worried sick as to whether something had happened to the other person...it is disrespectful and plain nasty!

    Since you are a man...you can fill us in on the whole..."he is just not that into you"...thing. Can you honestly say that if you really are into a woman...you would not call her...you would not "stay over"...you would not have sex...you would not let her know where you are...etc etc? Just wondering

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hyacinth View Post
    Quick - put that on a card and give it too him...
    me or Laura?
    Last edited by Cleasanta; 12-20-2009 at 10:40 PM.

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