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Thread: VERY Off-topic! Giveaway...

  1. #1
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    Default VERY Off-topic! Giveaway...

    Two boys, 9 and 14.

    Don't have to be rich, don't have to have a good home, heck, anywhere will do!!! Got a caravan out the back? A tent? Even a spare dog kennel?

    The above may be written rather tongue-in-cheek, but seriously, I am getting VERY close to it NOT being humourous!

    Separate my sons, and they truly do behave like total angels. Rarely ever have a problem with them, and are a joy to be around.
    Put them together (which unfortunately has to happen as we all live in the same house ) and they truly are becoming more of a nightmare every week.

    Husband and I are just at our wits end dealing with them, and yes, truth be told it is starting to take a huge toll on us and our marriage.

    If I had a Christmas wish it would be that I could snap my fingers and be a million miles away from them, as I feel like my sanity is going and I am a walking time-bomb ATM.

    Yes, I know many siblings don't get along, but this just seems to have escalated to a degree that I have never witnessed with anyone's children before.

    Anyone been through this? Anyone got through this?

  2. #2

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    Not to the extent it seems you are going through , sorry DA.
    What age are they?
    Do you think they realise the stress it causes you and hubby?
    GageDesign Pet Photography
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  3. #3

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    oh duh Chop! the ages are first thing in post

    mmm...well the 14 year old is old enough to know whats happening for sure.Have you tried talking to them seperately?
    GageDesign Pet Photography
    Site still in construction so will post link when it's finished.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChoppaChop View Post
    oh duh Chop! the ages are first thing in post

    mmm...well the 14 year old is old enough to know whats happening for sure.Have you tried talking to them seperately?
    Oh yes, we've tried so many things. Talking till we are blue in the face and feeling like a parrot. Punishment where they lose the things they have or want. Early bedtime. Discussing the reasons why they behave like they literally hate each other...the list goes bloody on and on, Choppa.

    In all my years I have never been able to comprehend how any mother could part with their children - till now.

  5. #5
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    Sorry to hear that DA..
    I only have 1 son, also 14.. He is at that 'I'm Mr Independant' stage with firm ideas on what he thinks and gives his mum a fair bit of flak.. But, at the same time, he is very loving and does well at school..
    I must admit, I'm glad I don't have 2 to contend with...
    http://www.dogforum.com.au/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=577&dateline=12727082  14

  6. #6
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    Yes Mitte, it's the two together that is the big problem here.

    Both sons are doing well at school, excel at sports, they are just brilliant kids when they are not together. Very proud of them and their manners, courtesy and beliefs etc.

    Put them together and you would not believe they are the same children! My mother moved to Tassie with us also, and lives in a unit only minutes away. To explain, she truly does live for those grandkids - but even she has had enough and will not tolerate having them both at her place together. I thought that fact would shock a few volts into them, but it is going in one ear and out the other.

    I am not an advocate of smacking or abusing my children, and have probably smacked my eldest once when he was about 3. At this point I feel like belting their brains out till some cells start to work!

    Hey, maybe that would work???

    Na, eldest may only be 14 but he is 6 foot 7 and a bloody hulk - wouldn't have a hope in hell, would probably break my hand or something.

  7. #7
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    have they always been like this??

    I know nothing about your situation so can only speculate things i have learnt that might be the cause?

    I don't expect an answer!!! but food for thought, as i've said none of this may apply to your circumstances but its worth offering..

    Does the 14 yr old have his own independence? At that age emotions are running wild and most 14 yr olds want their independence not to have their little bros or sis's around to annoy them... Does the older one have to mind/take care of the younger on?

    what were they like as babies/young children did the arguments start there or could it be jealousy thats been pent up for so long that they dont even know WHY they are arguing just that they are?

    Is the responsibility shared (age appropriate), the hardest question to answer, but is one favored more then the other... (not an easy one to sit back and objectively answer)


    You said they flat out hate each other, so im assuming that it is ALL the time? Are there any moments where they do get along? if so, what were they doing? sport, family get together, other people around etc..


    if it is just a plain hatred (and as bad as it sounds but it can happen, some personalities just do not get along) perhaps treat them like adults (bare with me!) sit them down and make them write a list of things they don't like about each other... Such as i don't like how DS9 sings that annoying song when hes doing the dishes.. Then from there work on what kind of personality trait that is, is it something that is apart of him that cannot be altered (ie. the way they breath LOL) or can it be something that ds9 can be more mindful of. and vice versa.... Sort of sit down and work on a level that makes them see that some things can be worked on and others can't...

    If all that works, school counselors might help in letting them vent it off so its not a war zone all the time at home..

  8. #8

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    Sounds like its pretty well normal practice for them now,not good.
    Do they have any envy/competition like feelings do you know? ie;is the 9 year old perhaps a bit jealous of the older brother or vice versa?

    Sorry,just throwing ideas out there. I can absolutely understand the statement about giving away your kids though...every parent has a breaking point.We are only human after all
    GageDesign Pet Photography
    Site still in construction so will post link when it's finished.

  9. #9

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    oops,Jodz beat me
    GageDesign Pet Photography
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  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jodz View Post
    have they always been like this??

    I know nothing about your situation so can only speculate things i have learnt that might be the cause?

    I don't expect an answer!!! but food for thought, as i've said none of this may apply to your circumstances but its worth offering..

    Does the 14 yr old have his own independence? At that age emotions are running wild and most 14 yr olds want their independence not to have their little bros or sis's around to annoy them... Does the older one have to mind/take care of the younger on?

    what were they like as babies/young children did the arguments start there or could it be jealousy thats been pent up for so long that they dont even know WHY they are arguing just that they are?

    Is the responsibility shared (age appropriate), the hardest question to answer, but is one favored more then the other... (not an easy one to sit back and objectively answer)


    You said they flat out hate each other, so im assuming that it is ALL the time? Are there any moments where they do get along? if so, what were they doing? sport, family get together, other people around etc..


    if it is just a plain hatred (and as bad as it sounds but it can happen, some personalities just do not get along) perhaps treat them like adults (bare with me!) sit them down and make them write a list of things they don't like about each other... Such as i don't like how DS9 sings that annoying song when hes doing the dishes.. Then from there work on what kind of personality trait that is, is it something that is apart of him that cannot be altered (ie. the way they breath LOL) or can it be something that ds9 can be more mindful of. and vice versa.... Sort of sit down and work on a level that makes them see that some things can be worked on and others can't...

    If all that works, school counselors might help in letting them vent it off so its not a war zone all the time at home..
    Thanks for your reply, Jodz. Will answer as I can...

    No, they haven't always been like this. They would always squabble a bit, and push and shove, but nothing that I don't see with many other siblings. This has been progressively getting worse throughout the past year, and has peaked beyond control or tolerance.

    They rarely seem to be able to get along or even have a civil conversation anymore.

    We did sit them down a couple of months ago and discuss it like they were adults. We talked to them separately, then together. Apparently my eldest has a problem because my youngest is even alive and breathing. WTH?

    My eldest doesn't mind or babysit or do anything like that. I seriously think to leave them alone together these days would mean sudden death for one of them.

    In hindsight looking at your questions, do I favour one of them over the other? In all honesty I would have to say that my eldest son has been the most precious person in my life, and I possibly have loved him above every other living thing - in all honesty I would also have to say that he appears to be the one causing most of this.

    Your idea re school councellor is a good one, and I will look into it. Thank you.

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