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Thread: "Women Only" Bitching Room About Men..

  1. #271
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    Quote Originally Posted by Disneygotpierced View Post
    I consider having children...Very hard to choose between career and babies sometimes.
    I personally think it is nearly impossible to juggle the two successfully, and still take care of yourself, little own your children. I know some women seem to be able to do this with ease, but I never could.

    I know a HUGE amount of parents who work, and over the holidays their kids are home alone from 8-5pm, they wander the streets, hang around the malls. I just CANNOT do that - literally CANNOT!!!

    I gave up a lot to be a mother, but that was my choice. If at the end of it when my sons are adults - if I can see that I brought up two good men who are an asset to society, then I feel I have succeeded in the hardest job on earth.
    Do I regret my decisions. Soemtimes when I'm snowed under, and had enough, but on the whole, never.

  2. #272
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    Quote Originally Posted by Devil's Advocate View Post
    I personally think it is nearly impossible to juggle the two successfully, and still take care of yourself, little own your children. I know some women seem to be able to do this with ease, but I never could.

    I know a HUGE amount of parents who work, and over the holidays their kids are home alone from 8-5pm, they wander the streets, hang around the malls. I just CANNOT do that - literally CANNOT!!!

    I gave up a lot to be a mother, but that was my choice. If at the end of it when my sons are adults - if I can see that I brought up two good men who are an asset to society, then I feel I have succeeded in the hardest job on earth.
    Do I regret my decisions. Soemtimes when I'm snowed under, and had enough, but on the whole, never.
    I agree. My mum works eight till four thirty and is single mother, but she doesn't let me 'walk the streets.' as she refers to it.

    I don't want to pretend I can 'have it all.' You can't be 100% devoted to an demanding career and fulfilling all of two-four children's needs, AND have time to have your own hobbies etc.

    That is why I will consider parenting very serious.

  3. #273

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    This isn't directed to anyone and obviously everyone has the right to make their own decisions. But sometimes I can't help but wonder - if we really care about children, why aren't we saving the ones that are already here?
    Last edited by Liza; 01-18-2010 at 07:00 PM.

  4. #274
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    Quote Originally Posted by Liza View Post
    This isn't directed to anyone and obviously everyone has the right to make their own decisions. But sometimes I can't help but wonder - if we really care about children, why aren't we saving the ones that are already here?
    Possibly because some women would not want to bring up another woman's child if they could have their own.

    And possibly because we can't give birth to puppies.

  5. #275
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    I think carrying a child inside you is a gift that I sometimes think I'd love to experience.

    But also I don't want to pass genetic defect I suffer from onto my children, so adoption is an answer.

    Then the argument for that is adoption costs thousands, not everyone is considered suitable candidate, and you can spend your entire life waiting.

  6. #276
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    Quote Originally Posted by Devil's Advocate View Post
    Possibly because some women would not want to bring up another woman's child if they could have their own.

    And possibly because we can't give birth to puppies.
    You can't? I always thought that was normal...

  7. #277

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    Thanks for the input on that, guys! It isn't like I actually think women shouldn't be allowed to have children or women who do have them are bad people - just a thought that pops up sometimes during child-having conversations

    PS: If I could give birth to a puppy I would so do it.

  8. #278
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    Quote Originally Posted by Liza View Post
    Thanks for the input on that, guys! It isn't like I actually think women shouldn't be allowed to have children or women who do have them are bad people - just a thought that pops up sometimes during child-having conversations

    PS: If I could give birth to a puppy I would so do it.
    LOL Liza. Me too. They are much more obedient.

    An acquantence of mine down here could not have children, so adopted from overseas, Fiji I think??? Not sure.

    Cost them $80,000.

  9. #279
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    Quote Originally Posted by Devil's Advocate View Post
    All the kids pushing their prams around with their fags ashing all over the poor baby, who is often left with grandma while they continue to go about their nightlife of drinking, clubbing and probably being in a horizontal position to cause more kids.

    Too many babies are brought up by grandparents because the mother (or/and father) are still children themselves.

    But more than anything, I strongly believe that young girls having children wouldn't have the mental maturity nor the phsychological ability to deal with it all.

    At that age, most of us think we know everything - then find out we know stuff-all.

    Incidentally, I am not talking about realistic accidents, products of rape or any such occurance. That is another story IMO.
    Quote Originally Posted by Devil's Advocate View Post
    Yes, there is, but that's generalising a bit I do think.

    Teens are teens. Simple as that. Many women are having children later in life, which also has it's cons as well as it's pro's. But I think many women are starting to realise that having a baby is not the end of the story. They need a good job, a stable marriage, an income that can support the huge expense a baby can throw on you!

    I personally think anybody in this day and age deliberately having a child before they are well into their 20's is foolhardy, not only for the child, but for them too.
    I'm a little offended at the generalisations against young Mums. I gave birth at 18 (not a planned pregnancy but hey, women of all ages can have an 'oopsie' baby). I cared for her from the day she was born. I never expected my parents to help raise her. I grew distant from all my friends because I had taken on the mum role. I did the night feedings, went to MCHN appointments, joined playgroups etc.
    I've learned everything through trial & error (as all parents do). And yep, my second child was planned and I was 19 when I fell pregnant with him because I wanted my children close in age.
    My husband is in a very secure job and I'm enjoying being a SAHM until both the kids are in school.

    People can be not-so-great parents at any age and I think it's highly unfair to assume that all young mums aren't cut out for the job.

  10. #280
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    Quote Originally Posted by Megan View Post
    I'm a little offended at the generalisations against young Mums. I gave birth at 18 (not a planned pregnancy but hey, women of all ages can have an 'oopsie' baby). I cared for her from the day she was born. I never expected my parents to help raise her. I grew distant from all my friends because I had taken on the mum role. I did the night feedings, went to MCHN appointments, joined playgroups etc.
    I've learned everything through trial & error (as all parents do). And yep, my second child was planned and I was 19 when I fell pregnant with him because I wanted my children close in age.
    My husband is in a very secure job and I'm enjoying being a SAHM until both the kids are in school.

    People can be not-so-great parents at any age and I think it's highly unfair to assume that all young mums aren't cut out for the job.
    Absolutely Megan. I'm 23 and a few of my friends who are my age have kids and they're great mums.

    However I also know exactly where DA is coming from. DA lives in the town next to my home town, where I lived for 22 years. In her town, my town and the other towns around us, there are alot of young mums (in their late teens / early 20s). The towns are quite small (compared to where I live now, anyway) and there's not always alot to do or easy job opportunities - if you want a good job you've got to work bloody hard for it. Therefore, a lot of teens don't have much ambition - boys and girls - and they see kids as the "easy way out" - having kids simply means they don't have to go out and look for a job. They get money from the government and a lovely $5000 bonus which they all love - because you know, 5 grand goes a long way towards raising a child, right? My OH's cousin had a baby last year and said to us that they were going to have another one as soon as they could because she loved not having to go to work anymore and because they wanted another $5000. She actually said that.

    I went to school with a girl who would purposly get pregnant (or pretend she was) so her boyfriend wouldn't break up with her. Then she'd "lose" it. Then next time they had a fight she'd be 'pregnant' again.

    Seriously - so many of these people are bored and babies are so cute and tiny aren't they. Just the same as why people get puppies.

    There are seriously some awesome young mums out there. But sadly there's more than enough bad ones to give the good mums a bad name.

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