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Thread: "Women Only" Bitching Room About Men..

  1. #91
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    Quote Originally Posted by puggerup View Post
    wooaaa his name wasn't Michael was it?

    thanks for the kind words.

    I'm going to try and make this Christmas a Christmas rather than a giftmas this year for sure.

    They aren't requesting specific items for once, so that makes things easier.
    And see it from this point...you might just have given your children the best christmas present...with you being safe

  2. #92
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cleasanta View Post
    And see it from this point...you might just have given your children the best christmas present...with you being safe
    And that really does hit the nail on the head! Good words, Dorte.

  3. #93
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cleasanta View Post
    And see it from this point...you might just have given your children the best christmas present...with you being safe
    Couldnt agree more. Years ago, people would stay together "for the sake of the children", that was just plain crap to me.
    Pugger, hang in there, things have a way of working them selves out, and dont be stubborn by not asking for help if you need it.

  4. #94
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    Quote Originally Posted by Devil's Advocate View Post

    My first husband was a pedeaphile (?) and was later murdered. What goes around comes around, Pugger.
    You bet, and thats what I call Karma.

  5. #95
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    Canberra
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    Quote Originally Posted by puggerup View Post
    wooaaa his name wasn't Michael was it?

    thanks for the kind words.

    I'm going to try and make this Christmas a Christmas rather than a giftmas this year for sure.

    They aren't requesting specific items for once, so that makes things easier.
    My ex's name was Michael and he was an abusive arse and still is to his current girlfriend. Waiting for the day he "accidently" steps in front of my car

  6. #96
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    Aug 2008
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    South Coast NSW
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    Quote Originally Posted by puggerup View Post
    My husband left on Sunday night. I gave him 3 months to find somewhere and he didn't bother looking, so is back at his mothers house.
    He earns $800 a week and is living there rent free, bill free and food free and Mummy is ironing his socks.
    I am left with 4 kids, bills, debts and food to buy and he gives me $150 for the week.

    I am so bloody furious.. I keep wishing he'd just die in a tragic painful accident.

    After 14 years of abuse and intimidation I get rid of him and now he is still making life hell.

    To top it off he says he is moving 2 hours away in a couple of weeks so the kids can't see him and they will hate me for kicking him out.

    I am sooooo angry.

    I'm also in a similar situation to you
    My ex was an abusive, controlling, violent & extremely selfish alcoholic.
    Cutting a long messy story extremely short- We were together for 4 years and had been on and off the whole time.
    On Christmas Day last year I had my family lunch and cut it short to visit him. I turned up and to be honest was happy to be there with him and the girls. As soon as the kids got his presents (he was banned from stepping foot near my house from my parents and brothers so couldnt watch them xmas morning) he seemed to be really short as if he was trying to get rid of us.

    Of course I cracked the ****s because we came out of our way to celebrate with him, I ended up leaving and going home.

    My daughter turned 3 on the 27th Dec and I had a party for her at the park.
    He was supposed to be there to help me set up (apart from the fact he SHOULD be there anyway) His dad turned up and asked where he was and I said I didn't know. He never showed up...

    My sister later told me she saw him at the Pub the night before off his face and high as a kite. She said "do you think you should be doing that when its Brookes bday tomorrow" to which he replied "F.. it. She'll get over it"

    His dad kicked him out of the house because of it and his family rarely talk to him even now.
    I called him once and he was out of it and didn't try again.

    He hasnt paid a cent of child support in 11 months, centrelink and the CSA can't seem to find him. He hasn't called or asked about the girls in all that time either. It was so hard for a while as out eldest thought the world of him and constantly asked me where he was, if she could go see him etc.

    Its surreal to think that most of you girls/guys have seen pics of my girls which is more than their own father has seen..

    Although its bad about the kids but since he has left my life, it has been so good.
    I totally lost myself and realised because of him I had no hobbies, no friends, lost so much respect from my family. I can now say its the total opposite.

    I am thankful though, because as much as it did hurt to realise everything that came out of his mouth was trash or lies I have learnt so much. I will never get pushed around by another guy ever again.
    If my ex was the best that I can get, then I'll sure as hell enjoy my life being SINGLE!!!

  7. #97

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    Thank you for bravely sharing your story Sharoo.

    It is a very hard thing to finally break away from these abusive people, but when you realise that you've done it once & for all and you're not ever going back to the abuser, it is so liberating.

    You begin to set new standards of acceptable behaviour for yourself & gain a new found self respect, which in turn engenders respect in those you interact with. And it feels good ...

    By setting a higher standard of acceptable behaviour for yourself, you are demonstrating to your children how they should be treated & in deed treat other human beings and the circle of violence is broken in your family.

    Self respect & setting boundaries for how you want to be treated as a woman & a human being is the greatest gift you can give to yourself ... and to your children.

    May you all have a wonderful Christmas by spoiling yourself and your loved ones with the love, respect & gentle touch you all so richly deserve.

  8. #98
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    Leaving my first husband was the best decision I ever made.

    For those who have lived with abusive partners I'll say this (stolen from a Shania Twain song):
    I'd rather die standing, then down on my knees begging 'please'.
    A pessimist sees the glass as half empty;
    An optimist sees the glass as half full;
    A realist just finishes the damn thing and refills it.

  9. #99
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    To all of you who feel that you would dearly love your ex-husbands to step in front of your car, or under a bus, or meet a tragic end...one day you won't feel like that.

    I did for a while, until I realised that hatred will eat you up and spit you back out again like a shrivelled up prune. I also realised this...

    We each fell in love with those men for a reason. Yes, there would have been things that attracted us in the first place. Somewhere along the line, we loved them.

    My ex-husband was an alcoholic, a drug addict, and unfortunately he liked to play with little boys. Actually, it became apparent that he liked to play with big boys too, but that's another story. But if asked would I go through it all again - my outh I would.

    I learnt a lot about alcoholism, I learnt a lot about drug addicts and rehabilitation programs etc, I learnt about things and places I never thought I would go in a million lifetimes. That knowledge has helped shape who I am today, and holds me in good stead IMO for bringing up children in the world we live in today with so much alcohol and drugs running rife.

    I also look at my eldest son who is a mirror image of my ex-husband. I believe that there is good and bad in everybody -I also believe that all that was good in him has been left behind in the heart and mind of my son. The great, caring wonderful side lives on, it is all the evil and darkness that died along with him.
    The best thing I vcould ever tell my son is that he is everything his father COULD have been. I love that particular son possibly more than any living thing in this world, so how could I truthfully hate any father that gave him to me???

    Also, if your ex's ever DO get hit by a car or meet a tragic end, I guarantee you won't feel good about it, as much as you might think you will now. To die is one thing, to die in a tragic manner WILL haunt you forever, believe me.

  10. #100
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    I've never felt the need to wish my ex-husband harm and I am not sure I could ever wish anyone harm in such a way. My children love their father regardless of what happened and what I think or feel.

    It does settle though I agree. More than 11 years on now and we are able to talk when need be. Our relationship is distant but we lost the need to score point many years ago thankfully. He remains single to this day which is probably for the best for the woman of the world.
    A pessimist sees the glass as half empty;
    An optimist sees the glass as half full;
    A realist just finishes the damn thing and refills it.

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