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Thread: The Chat Place...

  1. #411

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    Quote Originally Posted by Devil's Advocate View Post
    Putting the woman in her rightful place is actually a gift to her you know. Nobody should be allowed to be a bitch their whole life!
    I hadn't though of it that way actually. I was doing this purely to set things right for myself so that 2010 would be relatively incident free for Spirit & I in the training rings. This lady won't see it as a gift of course. She's a well known gossiper, so I suppose if I can get her to think about what she's done & stop doing this in the future, the gift will be for all the other people that she causes emotional pain to.

    Had quite an "animated" discussion with Rob last night. He believes that because I wasn't actually there when this "discussion" took place, I have no right to say anything. He's very uncomfortable with my decision to take action & potentially cause a "scene" at tomorrow's club breakup. I'll be taking this woman aside & speaking with her privately so as not to offend anyone. "Build a bridge" Robbie Love ....

  2. #412
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
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    Rural NSW
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    Best way to do it IMO GSD is exactly that, aside with no audience. Shows you are a notch above them too, not that she will notice, but you and we will.

    Any posts made under the name of Di_dee1 one can be used by anyone as I do not give a rats.

  3. #413

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    Quote Originally Posted by Di_dee1 View Post
    Best way to do it IMO GSD is exactly that, aside with no audience. Shows you are a notch above them too, not that she will notice, but you and we will.
    This lady is the carer of a special needs, wheel chair bound young girl. The woman is an instructor at club & often has someone watch over the wee thing while she takes an hour long class. It would be most inappropriate of me to discuss the matter in front of the little girl, so I'll ask her to have someone supervise while we go off privately to "chat".

    It may all go horribly wrong, with her screaming at me from the get go because she's defensive, but I could be pleasantly surprised. I dislike confrontation in any form, calm or otherwise, so this is a big "test" from the Universe for me. Sorry to have banged on about it so much. I don't want to chicken out, so I'm doing a "brain dump" now to get a bit of "Dutch Courage" to step up & do this. Bit disappointed that Rob's not in favour as it would be nice to have his support, but at least you gals out there are behind me, so I'll push on. Probably won't sleep all that well tonight, but it will all be over by Sunday afternoon, so I'll focus on that and not on how uncomfortable I am at the moment.

  4. #414
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    Oct 2009
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    When you KNOW in your heart you are doing the right thing, then you are. I too hate confrontation but sometimes it has to be done. The outcome too is often dependent on the way we approach it. To me, your way is the way after you found there would be no action after voicing your concerns in a letter to the President of the club.
    If the woman starts getting out of control keep calm, talk in usual tones or quietly, hopefully she will have to shut up to hear what you say, if not her ranting will just reflect badly on her and you can walk away with head held high.

    We are here for you.

    Any posts made under the name of Di_dee1 one can be used by anyone as I do not give a rats.

  5. #415

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    Quote Originally Posted by Di_dee1 View Post
    When you KNOW in your heart you are doing the right thing, then you are. I too hate confrontation but sometimes it has to be done. The outcome too is often dependent on the way we approach it. To me, your way is the way after you found there would be no action after voicing your concerns in a letter to the President of the club.
    If the woman starts getting out of control keep calm, talk in usual tones or quietly, hopefully she will have to shut up to hear what you say, if not her ranting will just reflect badly on her and you can walk away with head held high.

    We are here for you.
    Firstly, thank you all so much for all your support. I appreciate it very, very much.

    All that you have said is very, very true "DD". It's not the situation that I now find myself in that will make the difference, it's how I handle it. It will be a challenge to stay calm if she starts hurling hurtful personal barbs, but I'll just have to stay focussed, be polite & respectful at all times and get the resolution I'm hoping for ....

    An apology for what was said, an understanding that it is never OK to gossip behind another's back, even if the discussion relates to the competance or lack thereof of handler & dog taking place between 2 instructors and the impact of what is said about people in the future moving forward. "If you're not prepared to make the same comments in front of the person concerned, it's not appropriate to say them in their absence."

  6. #416
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    Di is much easier to type than "DD", I am sorry Rob is not much support in this. Hopefully that may change.

    Any posts made under the name of Di_dee1 one can be used by anyone as I do not give a rats.

  7. #417

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    Sorry about that. Noted for future replies.

    Rob likes to be liked & always takes what he feels is the easier & less confrontational path. He's an instructor at club. Although he hasn't said it, he feels my actions will reflect badly on him & he'd rather I keep my mouth shut, just forget about it & move on. I've always been a bit of a "trend setter" in our relationship, so this isn't the first time he's been a bit bristly with me when it might also involve him stepping out of his comfort zone. He'll get over it.

  8. #418

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    Well, in case you were all wondering ....the lady I wanted to speak with today, didn't front. There I was, all ready to be mature & adult, loaded up with Rescue Remedy & Valerian drops, with my heart thumping as I drove to club, hoping I would deal with things properly ... and for the first time in years of the Christmas break up .... she didn't front & went to the doggie big day out instead. Oh well, not to be I guess ....

    When I got to club, the Pres said he had given a copy of my letter to quite a few of the committee to read. Clearly .... given the "cat's bum" look & cold shoulder reception I got from "the establishment" today. Not much of a fan base for Spirit & I at this point in time I would say. (no sh*t)

    Oh well, it's all out in the open now as far as what I've had to say and was prepared to commit to in writing. They may not like it, but there you are.

    Rang the chap I've chosen as mentor for Spirit & I this afternoon and we'll push on with training over the Summer break. We'll see how good Spirit & I are when training recommences in early Feb ....

    I suppose this is one of those times when the words of John Lennon ring true .... "Life happens when you're making other plans."

  9. #419
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Numurkah
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    There may well be another time -- Bugger -- especially when you have everything set out in your head, know what you are going to say, and then a big fat nothing. You dont think she may have skipped today because she probably had wind of you "talking" to her??

  10. #420
    Join Date
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    Rural NSW
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    A big" Bugger" from me too.

    Any posts made under the name of Di_dee1 one can be used by anyone as I do not give a rats.

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