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Thread: The Chat Place...

  1. #1921
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
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    Devonport, Tasmania
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    6,675

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    KWYM. Yoghurt makes me chunder.

    Got any flat lemonade?

  2. #1922

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    Just up for 2 secs to have a toilet (yeh, yeh I know ... forum addict) Got some Lucozade, so I'm back to bed for a bit with that to see if it can make the diff.

  3. #1923
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Hawkesbury, NSW
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    2,001

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    I tell you, considering she's 17, Ammy should be renamed Flash! One minute I've put her in her basket, the next she's gone! Usually outside, except this time she managed to find her way to the bathroom - ohhh dear, BIIIIGGG cleanup! Least she chose the right room to do it in!

    The dogs have surprised me, the next door neighbours sheep have wandered into my place, they are tootling around in the horse paddocks, and the dogs are ignoring them! Even all the MAA-MAAA-MAAAAA-ing isn't setting them off.

    ...bet I've just jinxed myself, at least there is a 6 foot fence between the dogs and the sheep!

    In My Home Dog Minding
    www.greyhoundrescue.com.au

  4. #1924
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Adelaide
    Posts
    12,602

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    Hi all

    I posted last night all about helping out with our club competitions, and forgot to mention the really big news. Our council has pulled the plug on the public consultation process on the use of our local park - and have to start all over again at some point in the future. So all my effort at stuffing envelopes full of flyers - because most residents had no clue how much time the council was planning to give our local summer sports club (for $1 a year) all daylight hours, grrr. I could write epics on how unfair the whole process was for local residents... council has already spent $65K on a consultant to organise a meeting and a resolution between residents and sports clubs only to have a council staff member - quietly remove the conditions each renewal and never serve the club a warning notice when they ignored the conditions.

    Anyway - we get a break for a while. I can sleep in and not get up early to stuff info packs into letter boxes.

    PS GSDs4Ever, what you wrote was very helpful.
    Last edited by Hyacinth; 03-04-2010 at 02:04 PM.

  5. #1925
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Trinity Beach, CAIRNS
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    290

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    Random post, but could use some advice...


    I found out last night that my boyfriends dad was killed in a car accident. His father 'left' when he was about 6 as his mum got a new boyfriend. It was only up until a few years ago when they started talking again. On boxing day of last year, we went down to Townsville to visit him and his new family and we stayed for a week.

    The thing is, my boyfriend is acting like he doesn't care, but deep down I know he is. I found out when I was at work, and when I came home he was on his dads facebook page looking at his photos.

    I've only been with my boyfriend for 6 months and have never been through anything like this with him and I'm not sure how to be there for him by the way he is acting.

    Should I just leave him and let him be, act like nothing has happened (which he seems to be doing), or try to get him to talk about it?


    I think it will hit him at the funeral.
    Only a twinkle in his daddys eye ♥♡
    (IM)patiently waiting for my long awaited newfie pup ♥♡

  6. #1926
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Queensland
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ferrero View Post
    Random post, but could use some advice...


    I found out last night that my boyfriends dad was killed in a car accident. His father 'left' when he was about 6 as his mum got a new boyfriend. It was only up until a few years ago when they started talking again. On boxing day of last year, we went down to Townsville to visit him and his new family and we stayed for a week.

    The thing is, my boyfriend is acting like he doesn't care, but deep down I know he is. I found out when I was at work, and when I came home he was on his dads facebook page looking at his photos.

    I've only been with my boyfriend for 6 months and have never been through anything like this with him and I'm not sure how to be there for him by the way he is acting.

    Should I just leave him and let him be, act like nothing has happened (which he seems to be doing), or try to get him to talk about it?


    I think it will hit him at the funeral.
    Just be there for him. Allow him to grieve in his own way. It hits hardest at the funeral and that is where he will need you to lean on most. It may be hard for him to talk for a while. The one thing that has helped me most in the past was my best friend saying to me "I know that you may not be ready now, but I want you to know that whenever you want to talk, I am here to listen." She gave me a big hug too. Don't pretend it didn't happen, but don't force him to face it either.

    Everybody copes in different ways.

    At my sisters funeral I was unable to stand, couldn't physically go anywhere near the coffin and could barely see from all of the tears.

    I hope this helps, I'm so sorry for the loss. Big for both of you.

  7. #1927
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
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    Trinity Beach, CAIRNS
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    Thanks

    He talks about it a little bit, but he only usually says "he was more like my mate then my dad".

    He was a really good man and I was looking forward to him being my father in law (my boyfriend always talks about getting engaged once he gets a job and a ring).

    I only knew his dad for a total of 7 days, but I was really glad that I met him and that he was a part of my life, if only for a short while.



    R.I.P
    Only a twinkle in his daddys eye ♥♡
    (IM)patiently waiting for my long awaited newfie pup ♥♡

  8. #1928
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Devonport, Tasmania
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    Ferrero, have you considered the fact that what your boyfriend is telling you (re his feelings or not about his dad) could actually be the truth?
    Perhaps his feelings of loss are not what you expect they should be, and he's trying to figure that out for himself.

  9. #1929
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    Aug 2009
    Location
    Adelaide
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    Hi Ferrero

    It's horrible when anybody dies in a car accident and in this case - your bf never gets to find out if he could have made a new relationship with his dad some time. Things you put off...

    But if he doesn't want to talk about it, that's ok, and if he does, that's ok too. You might tell him if something like that happened to you, that you'd want to talk about it cos you think it would help you, but understand he might not feel the same way.

    Ie you can tell him how you feel about him not talking - from your point of view, you're worried about him, but don't make any assumptions about what he feels or what is in his best interests. Everybody grieves in their own way and I feel that's always right for them. So like the others here have said, let him know you're there for him whether he wants to talk about it or not. And let him know how you feel about it, but don't push anything on him or pester him about how to grieve.

    You might need to find out if it was an ordinary accident or one of those "drive car into tree" suicides - because depression can be hereditary, and that might affect your bf and any children you might have (one day). But you probably don't need to ask your bf directly, you will find out one way or the other at the funeral.

  10. #1930
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    Jan 2010
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    Queensland
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hyacinth View Post
    You might need to find out if it was an ordinary accident or one of those "drive car into tree" suicides - because depression can be hereditary, and that might affect your bf and any children you might have (one day). But you probably don't need to ask your bf directly, you will find out one way or the other at the funeral.
    I wouldn't be asking this of anyone for a couple of months at least though. I agree with everything you've said, but asking right now is probably not the best idea or in anyone's best interests.

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