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Thread: MIL Problem. What to Do?

  1. #1
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    Oct 2009
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    Default MIL Problem. What to Do?

    My MIL rang today and is seriously hinting about coming to visit us this Christmas. Actually it's past hinting really. She's organised respite care for her mother whom she looks after (I do use that term loosely!) for a month with the intention of coming here, but knows well enough (I hope) not to turn up without an invitation.

    She hasn't had an invitation for some years.

    I can't handle her, and am always popping some Nurofen within a couple of hours of being here. Even hubby gets a migraine within a few hours of her arriving. She is at the top of the list of why we moved across the ocean in the first place. My husband admits he can't think of one single person who wants to put up with her, yet he is feeling guilty and bad that we are not offering an invitation.
    Our boys would prefer to leave her rather than take her, and I'm not sure they even give a stuff about her. I feel she has brought that on myself. My own mother has said there is no way my MIL is staying with her!!!

    She has a good heart, but you can't get a word in edgeways even if you are blatently rude to her, she's weird, she's a fruitloop, she's a trollop (not kidding I mean that literally) and unfortunately she has had an awful lot to do with the break-up of my husband's first marriage, not to mention the marriages of my BIL. I'll try not to get stuck on the phone with her cause after 1/2 an hour of her going on with all her problems (which she brings on herself) I'm ready to send a hand grenade across the telephone line!

    Oh God, sorry to vent but the week is just getting crappier. It can only get better.

  2. #2
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    Aug 2009
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    Is there somewhere else she can stay?

    Like Bordeaux's place - she has had some practice...

    Could you hire a caravan for the time and keep her in the back yard, or can you guys plan a holiday elsewhere while she stays at your place.

    Maybe a bit of dog training technique - ie when she's misbehaving, turn your back, ignore her, leave the room? You said she doesn't seem to mind blatant rudeness (another autistic trait - some don't even notice what is traditionally found rude by other people). I've got several friends? that the only way to end a conversation with them is to just leave. Sometimes I wave good bye and leave, but there is no way I get a word in edgewise to actually say "see ya later".

  3. #3
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    When was the last time she's come for Christmas (or the last time you've seen her at all)?

    Obviously I do not know the situation, but is a week to a month (depending if you can get her to "see the sites" ;D) of her presence actually threatening to your marriage?

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by silvershadowwolf24 View Post
    When was the last time she's come for Christmas (or the last time you've seen her at all)?

    Obviously I do not know the situation, but is a week to a month (depending if you can get her to "see the sites" ;D) of her presence actually threatening to your marriage?
    About 2 years ago. Even my husband left the airport without watching the plane go out and said' never again!'

    And yes, she really is that threatening, SSW. We have seriously had the year from hell, and the last thing we need right now is the massive stress of her adding to it.
    Last time she was here my hubby abandoned her in KMart because to see the sights she dragged him into the store to try on bras and proceeded to walk around...well...you know what. She's a wrinkled, fat old lady, and believe me, nobody wants to see that! Lol.
    The boys took her to a maze and tried to lose her in 2 seconds flat. Peace for 1/2 an hour.

    She likes to go see people in hospitals because she feels her presence will help them to stay alive. FFS, what?

    I'm evil because my children aren't circumsized, apparently. She goes on cruises and holidays paid for by elderly gentleman and actually rings us to tell us "how' she got it out of them.

    Seriously, she is impossibly hard to handle, but she IS his mother. I offered to move out for a bit and have a break at my mum's place but my hubby wanted to come too.

  5. #5
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    Sounds like someone I wouldn't want to be around :S That circumcision comment makes her sound like an extremely "old fashioned" woman. Does she know how you feel about her and her being there?

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by silvershadowwolf24 View Post
    Sounds like someone I wouldn't want to be around :S That circumcision comment makes her sound like an extremely "old fashioned" woman. Does she know how you feel about her and her being there?
    Oh yeah, she knows how I feel all right, but she is so self-centred I don't think she actually considers it. She has always known how every wife (and her sons for that matter who've also had it out with her) feels, but it's just no use. In one ear and out the other.

    I find her morals, her attitude and her life-style so utterly and highly repulsive, and I sure don't want to hear about it.

    When we first started telling people that we were leaving and moving a long way away, there was not one person who's first question wasn't "to get away from *****, right?'

    She used to come around and knock on our front door. it would be like 11.00pm at night. We had gone to bed but she'd say that she was driving past and saw the toilet light on, so someone must be home for her to visit as it suited her at that time. I used to tell her to f off or I'd chuck her over the balcony! Lol. probably should have...

  7. #7
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    That sounds so much worse than what it sounded like in your first post. Can you tell her that you won't be there?

    Also, has your husband talked to her at all (about how you and he feels, etc)?

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by silvershadowwolf24 View Post
    That sounds so much worse than what it sounded like in your first post. Can you tell her that you won't be there?

    Also, has your husband talked to her at all (about how you and he feels, etc)?
    You have no idea, and no, I'm not kidding.

    Yes, Oh has tried. He has told me he has tried several times over the years, even before me, but it only sinks in for a little while, then everything is back to how it was as if those words never happened.

    Somehow, we are going to have her make her lsiten, cause she is the one who is always missing out on family because of it.

  9. #9

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    Double crap! Bad, (but by the sounds of it shes much worse ) but DONT OFFER! ??

  10. #10
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    Can you think of what she'd do if you point blank refused to have her there (telling this to her)?

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