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Thread: Inlaws Vent

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    1,014

    Default Inlaws Vent

    The situation with my MIL is getting me down, I'm not looking for advice just need to vent.

    She's been living with my patner and I on and off over the last 4 years.
    She does contract work so she'll work for 6 to 8 months and then come back and stay with us for 2 to 4 months untill she gets work again.
    This arrangment has worked well. We get on great and while she's with us she helps with bills and minds the dogs if we want to have a couple of day away.

    Usually around the 3 month mark we do start to wear on each other as we live in a 2 bedroom unit so we're all on top of each other. But it's ok because we know she'll move on soon.

    But this time it looks like she wont be able to go back to work any time soon, if at all. I really feel for her as she'll always been very independent. But we've just bought a house and we're moving in 2 weeks.
    She wasn't supposed to be living with us when we moved but now she will be.

    I feel like Im being selfish not wanting her there but at the same time this is a huge thing for us and at the moment it doesn't feel like it's our house, it's his, mine and his mothers.
    I want to be able to come home and do things with out having to worry about her.
    Right now I come home and go straight for the computer and head phones so I can have some time to myself.

    Didn't mean to ramble on there.
    If you've read all that you deserve a cupcake

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    SE QLD
    Posts
    845

    Default

    LOL, waiting for my cupcake....I can well understand your worry as I would feel the same way. Starting off in a new home is very special and doing that with your Hubby is extra special. I hope something works out for you.
    The more people I meet, the more I like my dogs.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Devonport, Tasmania
    Posts
    6,675

    Default

    Bordeaux, you have the patience of 'Job.'

    Wow, we moved across the Bass Strait to get away from OH's family. Different scenario though, so won't go there.

    I just can't relate to this. I could never have a parent living in the same house. What concerns me is that the way you feel now, if you allow this situation to continue once you and hubby move to your new home, how much will you end up resenting your MIL in the end?

    Have you tried sitting down and talking to her about how you feel?
    Have you told your OH how you feel?

    You really need to discuss this and get it out there in the open, albeit kindly. It might have been a great arrangement up till now, but life is all about change.

    Curious though, why has she been living with you? Perhaps the reasons need to be looked at?

    All the best.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Devonport, Tasmania
    Posts
    6,675

    Default

    Cupcake, please?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Rural NSW
    Posts
    5,967

    Default

    Waiting on mine too. Hugs.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    1,014

    Default

    lol maybe I should remove the cupcake bit, mine aren't very good anyway and somehow I dont think they'd make it to you guys in the mail

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Rural NSW
    Posts
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    Default

    Email 'em, lol. Gets crumbs through the cables, but who cares?

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Devonport, Tasmania
    Posts
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    Default

    oh bummer. i like cupcakes.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
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    Default

    My OH knows how I feel and we're trying to help her.
    OH and his mom moved to australia about 15 years ago, they lived together on and off the whole time.
    She's a nurse so when she's working accomadation is provided. She doesn't stay in the one place long enough to rent. And due to being a contract working, having no credit history and her age she cant get a loan to buy her own place.
    Talking to her about it is hard at the moment, she's suffering post trumatic (sp) stress due to things that have happened this year. Which is why she cant work.
    We're trying to get her to see someone about it.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Devonport, Tasmania
    Posts
    6,675

    Default

    Oh dear, yes I can see she really is having a hard time. Puts you in a hard place too, doesn't it.

    I really hope a solution can be found for you all in the long run. Wish you well.

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