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Thread: how to help a dog cope with death of another one?

  1. #21

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    Because I live with my parents it will have to be a breed that my mum will allow me to have.
    She doesnt like most dog breeds though, so its going to be tough.
    She suggested to ring the man who I got my dog off to see if they are going to have more puppies, I dont think they will though.
    I might need to right a list of breeds that have the same exercise requirements as my dog

  2. #22
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    Hey Sheena, sorry to hear about your dog,

    Im sorta in the same boat, my dog lilly (21 yrs old) has a tumor on the inner wall of her mouth, shes going for blood tests this tuesday to see if shes well enough for surgery, if not we will have to get her put down, and our other dog will be devastated, he hasnt left his side since we brang him home and his little girlfriend has already left him aswell (went to live with my brother). so im already looking for puppies to keep him company incase we have to put her down

  3. #23
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    Dogs generally cope better than humans with loss. They live in the moment (Sorry to sound like Cesar Millan haha) and we have to help them move on. When a pet dies we are obviously distraught by the situation. We are the ones that try to hold on to the memory of the dog. Our other dog, while sad, would lose many dogs in the wild throughout it's life and the "leader"/fellow dogs would push on for survival. As the dog owner, it is our duty to ensure it is as easy to move on for our other dog as possible. If we see them moping we will feel sorry for them and add more "love" to their load by hugging them and patting them and letting them up on the couch while we project our "weak" state of mind, etc. This is probably changing the routine for the dog, which could be a little stressful, but also we are rewarding them for their moping. Rewarding increases behaviour in dogs, therefore we are unintentionally increasing the moping and sadness.

    In my opinion, it is best to carry on their usual routine with a little leniency. If they are sad, that is fine. That is how they grieve, but just like us humans they will move on (probably faster). Sheena, you will probably see Niki pick up from it before your family does.

    Please don't get another dog until everyone in the house has gotten over the loss of your older dog. I know it might sound silly, but if you go in looking for another dog while your still grieving, it will introduce a new dog into a sad/weak environment. This isn't fair on the new dog. It needs to be introduced into a strong pack where it can feel confident in you and your ability to lead it. If you are over the loss but Niki is still sad, it is a good time to get a new one.

    Just play it by ear. Niki will tell you what she needs
    Sorry to hear about your situation.

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by xx_sheena_xx View Post
    Because I live with my parents it will have to be a breed that my mum will allow me to have.
    She doesnt like most dog breeds though, so its going to be tough.
    She suggested to ring the man who I got my dog off to see if they are going to have more puppies, I dont think they will though.
    I might need to right a list of breeds that have the same exercise requirements as my dog
    You could always consider fostering dogs. I know it would be like losing a new dog every time one leaves, but I think it would be good for Niki (and you). You would get used to the idea of dogs coming and going and making a difference to the lives of those dogs. Plus they don't die, so Niki could always go and meet them at the park afterwards. My dog Luke goes through this every time we mind dogs or foster.

    Plus if you did that, you could see what it's like to live with lots of different breeds and eventually you may foster one and decide to keep it

    ????

  5. #25
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    I started looking for another dog about a week after my old dog, Luna died. I was devastated about my loss but Banjo provided a great distraction. She kept me so busy, I had not time to be "weak". I still get sad over Luna now occasionally, but I can honestly say it has never affected how I treat Banjo at all.

  6. #26

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    I dont really think fostering is a good idea for me. I get attached to animals too easily so I would want to keep all of them.

    I dont grieve the same as most people, probably more like a dog I guess. When something/someone died I will get upset but my grieving process doesnt take very long, maybe about a week. I will still miss them for ages but not be upset about it, things die its a part of life. So I don't think im going to be "weak" and my parents rarely have anything to do with the dogs.

    I need to plan everything i do before it happens so mum feels like it would be a good idea to make a list of what i like and what she would agree to. But im not going to rush into anything, i have to make sure the new dog would fit well.

  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Schmonyon View Post
    Hey Sheena, sorry to hear about your dog,

    Im sorta in the same boat, my dog lilly (21 yrs old) has a tumor on the inner wall of her mouth, shes going for blood tests this tuesday to see if shes well enough for surgery, if not we will have to get her put down, and our other dog will be devastated, he hasnt left his side since we brang him home and his little girlfriend has already left him aswell (went to live with my brother). so im already looking for puppies to keep him company incase we have to put her down
    Sorry to hear that your dog is not well, fingers crossed you get some good news tuesday.
    The greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its animals are treated.
    Mohandas Gandhi

  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Pawfectionist View Post
    Dogs generally cope better than humans with loss. They live in the moment (Sorry to sound like Cesar Millan haha) and we have to help them move on. When a pet dies we are obviously distraught by the situation. We are the ones that try to hold on to the memory of the dog. Our other dog, while sad, would lose many dogs in the wild throughout it's life and the "leader"/fellow dogs would push on for survival. As the dog owner, it is our duty to ensure it is as easy to move on for our other dog as possible. If we see them moping we will feel sorry for them and add more "love" to their load by hugging them and patting them and letting them up on the couch while we project our "weak" state of mind, etc. This is probably changing the routine for the dog, which could be a little stressful, but also we are rewarding them for their moping. Rewarding increases behaviour in dogs, therefore we are unintentionally increasing the moping and sadness.
    I have to disagree, having a couple of dog loose their friends now and seeing how they behaved during this loss, I feel this is not true..........I am a Dog trainer and work with lots of behaviour issues every day. Both hubby and I tried to be very uplifting for the two dogs that had most of the issues........Tessa came out of it eventually, but our Older Cody actaully passed away a month after her newfie friend Jessie passed away.

    The "new age" Dog trainers will tell you now that dogs do have a lot more feeling, friendships and do not necessarily only live in the moment as you put it. Patricia McConnel, Ian Dunbar and a few others have done articles as many others have........It has even been noted in the wild dog studies of Wolves and others when some of thier pack has died suddenly.........Especailly traumatic deaths are pined for. Slow deaths are often coped with differently in the wild. If I wasn't at work I would tack on some links
    Last edited by newfsie; 03-22-2012 at 03:13 PM.
    Pets are forever

  9. #29
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    Thanks cavalierqld

    Shes actually doing fine with the tumor in her mouth, its not causing her any pain and her appetite is fine and the vet said her heart sounds good, so hopefully the blood tests will tell us if her kidneys and liver will be fine for surgery.

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Schmonyon View Post
    Thanks cavalierqld

    Shes actually doing fine with the tumor in her mouth, its not causing her any pain and her appetite is fine and the vet said her heart sounds good, so hopefully the blood tests will tell us if her kidneys and liver will be fine for surgery.
    Will be thinking of you both tommorrow.
    The greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its animals are treated.
    Mohandas Gandhi

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