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Thread: Help me-feeling regret over loss

  1. #1

    Default Help me-feeling regret over loss

    So here is the story. I've had dogs all my life. I'm 29. My dog now is back with my mum and dad. She's a 5 year old beagle and my parents love her. I have been living in an apartment with my fiancé for over a year. He finally gave into me letting me have a puppy in the apartment. He is not a dog lover like me but wanted to make me happy. We put a deposit on a chihuahua x pug on a Friday night and 10mins later I felt so sick with feeling like I've made a big mistake. For the next 3 days I kept asking him if he wanted to cancel. I felt overwhelmed and unprepared. I didn't eat for those days. I felt nauseous and awful. I do everything at home,cook clean washing clothes..everything!my fiancé doesn't do anything and to top it off I've got to train feed play exercise the dog. We are getting married in 3months so that's stressful too. The dog came and all morning I felt sick. Its not normal for me coz I love dogs and getting a pet so just so exciting..well not this time...
    He came..cute and tiny. I felt no big love..just sadness. It was like I had post natal depression. I would hold the dog and cry. I didn't kno why I just wasn't in love with the dog..I felt responsible and just burdened. He pissed and pooed on my balcony and it stank so it once a day didn't work as the sun didn't come out to dry it up. He cried alot too which made me cry...4 days later he was sold. I was crying for 2 days. It's now been four days and I regret it...I didn't give him a chance. What happened to me? Anyone else felt like me? Please someone help me... I just don't understand why a dog lover like me...just did not feel the love with this puppy...

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2011


    Not sure if it has anything to do with the dog at all actually. Your whole post sounds so sad and full of despair that I can actually only suggest to take a long and hard look at your life and try to work out whether there's something major wrong with it No offence if I overstep a line here... just my two cents.

  3. #3


    You don't have to force yourself. It's not the best thing for either you or the puppy. Sometimes things don't gel between people and animals, or people and people for that matter!

    Chin up. And hugs. The time will be right one day, and you will know when it is. If your circumstances changed (housing-wise) would your beagle come back to live with you?

  4. #4


    I have similar feeling to you when I first get my pup in Dec. My husband didn't think we are ready for a dog. We travel quite abits and this would cramp our lifestyle. She cry and cry and bark all day long. I was so ready to give her up within 3 days of receiving her. Somehow she pick up the vibe and within the next day or so she stop crying and behave herself. She is now a lovely dog and my family love her to bits.

    Things happen for a reason and all the best.

  5. #5


    Margoo: I'm use to all the responsibility I have at home. We are very happy. But once I put the deposit down on the felt very wrong. I felt overwhelmed with responsibility. When I was at home, my mum cooked and washed my clothes-my job was making sure the beagle was trained fed and exercised. I believe it was nothing to do with the dog..I think it was all me..I just didn't deal with change very well..but I should have given it time.
    Nattylou: thanks. I think the beagle would stay at my mums cos they love her so much. This experience made me realise I need a house and yard before I try this dog thing again...

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Southern NSW


    All I can say is that if it felt wrong , it most likely was wrong. And it was probably best to have given the little tike up like you did. your life is obviously just not ready for the huge commitment a dogs is.

    I am not sure I could have a relationship with someone who was not into animals like I am.......My hubby and I are both heavily into horses and dogs. That said I am not saying yours is wrong. I just could not live without my menagerie of all creatures great and small.

    Maybe it will be best to just be a weekend dog owner...maybe your beagle or go to a shelter and offer to walk dogs. then when you feel OK about it or find a dog you connect with, the time might be right.

    I prefer people to make a decision like you did and find a new home for the puppy, then not get on with it and it will suffer psychologically by not getting the time it deserves.........So at this time, I think you did right. your time will come.........
    Pets are forever

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Rural NSW


    Would have been better to do with the feeling and stopped the sale.
    Hindsight though is wonderful.
    It does sound like you have some life issues. Maybe a counsellor can help.

    Any posts made under the name of Di_dee1 one can be used by anyone as I do not give a rats.

  8. #8


    Thanks newfsie. I hope I did do the right thing. I really need to feel I didn't do wrong..I'm just so disappointed in myself.
    Ive always said I'd never be with someone who didn't love dogs. My fiancé just never grew up with pets..or strawberries and mangoes. I'm serious. He doesn't eat fruit coz he wasn't exposed to them! My point is..he ain't like me..but he wanted to make me happy by giving me a pup. He loves walking my beagle coz she's such a clever dog. But when I had the pup he didn't play with it like I did. He just came on walks and enjoyed it. I think that's better than not loving animals for sure. He says that once we buy a house, the first thing we are doing is buying the same crossbreed dog. He promised. Hopefully this will be by the end of the year.

  9. #9


    Di dee.. I'm just sad that the pup is gone coz I didn't give it a chance at all. I felt sick before the dog and then when the dog came..I guess in my head was that I was doing the wrong thing and wanted the dog to go to a home where it would be loved and wanted..
    Now I'm disappointed in myself. I'm beating myself up over it coz Ive made a mistake. Mistake to get the dog. Mistake to sell the dog. I don't know which one it is!!??

  10. #10


    Once you buy a house the first thing you should do is settle in for a few months and THEN think about getting a puppy. Do LOTS of research (especially in where to buy from) and make sure you are completely ready. The mistake wasn't selling the dog, if you weren't ready, you weren't ready, keeping the pup around would have only made it worse.

    No more impulse deposits on BYB dogs okay

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