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Thread: Pointless Vent...

  1. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by GreysAreGreat View Post
    I have to admit that sometimes I get annoyed when there are kids running around carrying on, but I'm not talking about toddlers screaming, more the older kids that decide the supermarket aisles are a good place for a game of tag. A few months ago an elderly woman got knocked over in front of me when some kids (one maybe 4, one maybe 6) ran smack bang into her, too busy laughing and running and not looking where they were going. "Mum" was standing gossiping to a mate. I rushed over to help the lady up (luckily she was okay), but a few people ended up having a go at the mother, she didn't even ask the lady if she was okay. Grrrrrr.

    But toddler tantrums....ohhh I developed a LOT of sympathy for the mums after visiting my best friend and her then "terrible twos" son. Went to the shopping centre, he wanted lollies, he wasn't getting them...next thing he flings himself on the ground and screams and kicks! My friend who is easily embarrassed just had to sit there waiting for him to finish, enduring dirty looks etc. Finally she just said okay we're going are you coming and walked off...we got about 10 feet away and son looked up, realised we were leaving and next thing he's running after us! After that little episode I am a lot more tolerant....although I still make a run for it if there's lots of screaming!
    I agree with Von here and it isn't the little ones throwing a wobbly, it is the older kids 5 year old and up that still throw tantrums and throw things in the supermarket and carry on or run through the shopping centres knocking into people etc. or scream at the top of their lungs! They are the ones that really get to me and the mums just ignore them!
    On a side note, Angela did not mention what age kids were getting to her when she was out!

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cleasanta View Post
    I have to say...the hair raised on the back of my neck when I read this. Do you have any kids Angela? Kids "chuck tantrums" for many reasons...it could of course be because they don't have any structure in their life! It could also be because they are feeling ill.....have issues.....etc etc.

    Do you honestly think you are making the "Mother" (as you call them) feel any better by you loudly objecting to THEIR kids behaviour?!? I can't see it is ANY of your business quite frankly!

    I dare anybody "to have a go" at me if one of my children chucked a hissy fit at a shopping centre...not that they actually did.

    My first question would be...do you have any kids? If they said no...I would say...come back when you do, because frankly you haven't got a clue! I will bet you...the "Mothers" who have had or have young children will be standing there...feeling sympathetic and nodding...thinking...oh I am glad it wasn't me today!

    So next time you hear a child screaming...take a deep breath and consider...there might be a reason for that hissy fit other than that kid just being a little sh!t.
    I'm not referring to tantrums, or screaming or anything like that - I was referring to parents who do not give a s***.

    I'm referring to the mothers sitting outside the shopping center smoking away while their children run up to other peoples trolleys and take things out of it.

    I'm referring to the child that ran up to me yesterday and proceeded to PUNCH me in the stomach laughing while the mother laughed at him - it was not a humiliated laugh, she was finding it hillarious. This is my business - or do I just have to tolerate it because it's not my child??

    I am very understanding of childrens tantrums and I have no issue with them - I help or walk away if I can. No I do not have kids - I am sterile and will NEVER be able to. That chance was taken away from me and I hate that I have never had a choice. I was given a hysterectomy when I was 23. Before you start in on that perhaps it is you who needs to take a deep breath. I actually help some of the mothers with their kids who are just having a tantrum. Mothers who care are one in a billion around here, you can easily see who they are and I help every single one in as many ways as I can.

    So before you judge me, think for a second about the other possibilities of what I'm talking about.

    ETA: I was also commenting on the statement that some parents don't care about their kids, not the parents that do care.. Perhaps taking note of that may have been in order? I don't care if I make those parents feel like crap because they don't care about their child/childrens behavior and it's impact on others. If they were making an effort, ie calling the child back, telling it not to do what it's doing I would not say a word. I have actually been applauded for having a go at one so called mother after her child ran up to me (while I was walking up to a cash register) demanded that I buy him lollies, I told him no he proceeded to yell every kind of profanity I think he knew at me while the mother looked over, laughed and went back to talking to her friend. If you're that kind of mother then yes it is my business because your child is attacking me and you are doing NOTHING about it.
    Last edited by Angela's Gone Batty; 03-27-2010 at 11:06 AM. Reason: to add some things in and fix spelling

  3. #13
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    Your words were:-

    Yup! And I voice my disapproval of it loudly in the middle of shopping centres much to some 'mothers' dismay

    IN the shopping centre, voicing disapproval...there was not much elaboration. To me anyway it brought the picture of a mother struggling with a young child and someone putting their unwanted 2 cents worth in.

    I totally agree with you on the mothers, after you elaborated and their lack of giving a **** that happens so much these days. Be careful though that one of them does not get physical.

    Any posts made under the name of Di_dee1 one can be used by anyone as I do not give a rats.

  4. #14
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    I look it from a dog training point of view. Ignore the bad and reward the good. Some mothers look like they are doing nothing because anything more and the child feeds off it.

    I remember giving a friend the book Don't shoot the dog.

    She applied it to her kids.

  5. #15

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cleasanta View Post
    Excuse me...did you actually say what you would have a go at these "mothers"? No you didn't! You said you would voice your disapproval LOUDLY...that is ALL you said! No background as to why, when etc you would have a go at people!

    I am sorry you can not have children Angela! That must have been a very hard thing to have happen at such a young age!

    Sure...if someones kid came up and punched me in the stomach...watch out!...But like I said...you didn't elaborate as to why you would have a go at these "mothers".

    We all raise our children in different ways...some are better at it than others...just like raising dogs I guess!

    I refuse to judge "mothers" when I see an "out of control" child, because there might just be a reason. This child could be ADHD...autistic...have just gone through a marriage break-up and lost a parenting figure in his/her life..............or could just be a little sh!t.

    If it is clear that the kid is a little sh!t and the parent doesn't give a sh!t what the kid is doing or inclined to ask the kid to stop, I will say something. Modern age every kid seems to have ADHD or is it poor parenting and bad diet! Did we have a boom of ADHD in the last twenty years! In some areas there is a real problem with kids running out of control and yes the parents are responsible! I understand raising kids different ways, but no control is no control! It's just not on!

  6. #16

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    Quote Originally Posted by Angela's Gone Batty View Post

    No I do not have kids - I am sterile and will NEVER be able to. That chance was taken away from me and I hate that I have never had a choice. I was given a hysterectomy when I was 23. Before you start in on that perhaps it is you who needs to take a deep breath. I actually help some of the mothers with their kids who are just having a tantrum. Mothers who care are one in a billion around here, you can easily see who they are and I help every single one in as many ways as I can.
    Oh Hun My heart just broke into a million pieces for you

    I agree with Cleasanta in that some people (not you Angela) need to be more compassionate and tolerant when kids are behaving badly or throwing tantrums, because no doubt if they are causing discomfort for 5 minutes for people in shopping malls, imagine what they do for their parents at home. No parent wants their kids to be little sh1ts, and having it rubbed in their faces when they aren't coping is kicking them when they could be down.

    On the other hand, I totally agree with Angela when it comes to parents not supervising their kids.. if they won't stay where they are meant to be and get into too much mischief, put them on a lead, in a stroller or don't bring them.

  7. #17
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    Ooh, on a good note, I just got back from grocery shopping. In the line-up at checkout before me was a mother with a girl, approx 8 years at a guess. The mother was talking calmly to her daughter about the way she behaved when pushing past an elderly lady. She explained to daughter what damage that could have done, and asked daughter to respect the lady, and please go and apologise for her behaviour. Daughter did apologise to the elderly lady. Mother asked her daughter have you learnt a lesson. Daughter replied yes. Mother gave daughter a hug. I was nearly in tears, and couldn't stop myself from speaking up and praising that mother on her actions. I was sooo proud of her. Once I spoke to her, others in the line voiced their respect for her too. That was one damned good mother IMO.

    Ppl are often so inclined to comment in the negative about children's behaviour, but it's even more important to comment positively when you see a parent doing something great and right.

  8. #18
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    about the screaming kids in shopping centres, toddlers anyway, I sometimes tell the mum "what a healthy set of lungs your kid has". But I think the tantrum is best ignored as much as a mum can do that safely so I don't tell her or the kid off. I don't like it when the mum loses it and drags the kid around by the arm or whacks it, but I can understand the frustration and I butt out as long as I don't think the kid is being damaged (hospital worthy).

    If I think the mum is completely out of control and desparately needs some help or an extra set of hands or rescue in some way - I offer, but it's difficult these days with all the nasty people making the news to do that without seeming like one of them so I don't insist and I try to make the offer neutral like getting staff help or fetching another trolley or something like that.

    If the kids are going ballistic smashing stuff - I might alert the staff, but at that point, I'd leave. At hockey club - I have been known to ask the kids to go outside, in a way that encourages them to do just that. I like to use their own imagination against them without getting specific about what will happen. I can't make them do anything but I can fetch their coach or parent or embarrass them by drawing attention to their bad behaviour.

  9. #19

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    Quote Originally Posted by Devil's Advocate View Post
    Ooh, on a good note, I just got back from grocery shopping. In the line-up at checkout before me was a mother with a girl, approx 8 years at a guess. The mother was talking calmly to her daughter about the way she behaved when pushing past an elderly lady. She explained to daughter what damage that could have done, and asked daughter to respect the lady, and please go and apologise for her behaviour. Daughter did apologise to the elderly lady. Mother asked her daughter have you learnt a lesson. Daughter replied yes. Mother gave daughter a hug. I was nearly in tears, and couldn't stop myself from speaking up and praising that mother on her actions. I was sooo proud of her. Once I spoke to her, others in the line voiced their respect for her too. That was one damned good mother IMO.

    Ppl are often so inclined to comment in the negative about children's behaviour, but it's even more important to comment positively when you see a parent doing something great and right.
    Now that is a great Mother and Daughter understanding. I am so glad you voiced your respect for her.
    Praise where praise belong and I have myself commented what well mannered children so people do have, but your example there is that of an excellent Monther and Daughter relationship!
    Very nice to read!

  10. #20

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cleasanta View Post
    I think you hit the nails on the head! I think there ARE a lot of children with behavioural problems nowadays and I also think a lot of that can be contributed to shocking diets filled with preservatives, colouring, artificial sweeteners, enormous amounts of sugar and simply eating "garbage". I remember when I was a kid...we would go to McDonalds maybe once every 3 months as a treat...not what seems to be 2-3 times a week for some kids now! We didn't have school "snacks" filled with sugar, colour, preservatives.....we had simple apples, oranges, grapes and bananas! I remember I LOVED taking raw cabbage leaves to school and munch on them...I still love eating them that way!

    Poor parenting skills....I think feeding your children junk food too often is also a poor parenting skill to be honest! Everything has become soooo easy...whack something in the microwave and "nuke" it...buy ready-made meals and all you have to add is water and VOILA...you have a "meal". Jeeeeez...we can't even make popcorn the old-fashioned way anymore with a pot...some dry corn and some oil. We buy a bag with artificial butter in at that sticks like vomits when you heat it...put in in the micro and "nuke" it!
    I think it is the major problem. As kids the only take away we had was fish and chips or BBQ Chicken and Chips. We would have been lucky to have these one every two to three months! We always had loads of fruit and meals were home cooked. The one snack food we had was nuts! We all loved nuts. We did have cordial, but not that often and soft drink was very rare! My mum used to make ice-cream and most cakes and slices were home made from scratch. You thought you were doing good if you could order lunch at school once a month or so and this would be a meat pie, a little bag of potatoe straws and a bertie beattle! I think kids these days have too many artificial foods and this is actually where ADHD is coming from. This condition was unknown of in the sixties! I remember of all the kids I went to school with only two had problems and they were just slow learners. There was none of what they call today ADHD, and I went to a fairly big school!
    I know it is hard when both parents both have to work to pay the bills, but still it doesn't take long to throw together a meal or they could pre cook some meals on weekends and freeze them for later use.

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