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Thread: Becoming a Dog Shower!?

  1. #61
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    Yeah....tell us something nice about him....something that is truly spectacular...something that makes you happy!

  2. #62
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    hell, I'd be happy to hear he has a nice butt... anything nice or attractive about him.

  3. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hyacinth View Post
    hell, I'd be happy to hear he has a nice butt... anything nice or attractive about him.
    LMAO yep suppose he has a nice butt lol! but thats not the point

    There are lots of things I like about him but I think now that his drinking has become an issue it is more what I USED to like about him if that makes sense?!
    He really is a great guy it is just that we have more bad times than good times now.

    We discussed it last night and he seems to think everything will be ok for us if he works away because then Il only be unhappy 1 week out of every 5! Thats not the sort of life I want for myself!

    The biggest issue is that I feel like I am becoming an extension of him and am losing my own self.



    ANYWAY........
    I had a great time last night at training SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH FUN!!!!!

    and then I stuck around for a while after to help feed them and clean out the kennels etc.

    Gennie was a little upset yesterday but she was so happy about what Im doing for her....she even HUGGED me lol! I hope I can make her proud

  4. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by JudgeTheDeedNotTheBreed View Post
    LMAO yep suppose he has a nice butt lol! but thats not the point

    There are lots of things I like about him but I think now that his drinking has become an issue it is more what I USED to like about him if that makes sense?!
    He really is a great guy it is just that we have more bad times than good times now.

    We discussed it last night and he seems to think everything will be ok for us if he works away because then Il only be unhappy 1 week out of every 5! Thats not the sort of life I want for myself!

    The biggest issue is that I feel like I am becoming an extension of him and am losing my own self.



    ANYWAY........
    I had a great time last night at training SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH FUN!!!!!

    and then I stuck around for a while after to help feed them and clean out the kennels etc.

    Gennie was a little upset yesterday but she was so happy about what Im doing for her....she even HUGGED me lol! I hope I can make her proud
    Just out of curiosity, did you explain to him that you feel like you're losing yourself and just becoming an extension?

    I've had to have that conversation a couple of times in the last 7 years that I've been with hubby and found that it does help, but I have to be careful about how I put things.

    If you haven't already, explain to him how his drinking is becoming a problem for both of you and be completely honest without being emotional. Don't swear at him, or tell him he's useless, don't raise your voice and if you feel you're getting upset pause and take some deep breaths. The less emotive and more factual you are, and the less reactive you are the better the conversation will go. He will probably interrupt you a few times with his own points, let him finish them and simply say "I will get to that in a moment, (continue with what you were saying)" It may be handy to have a pen and paper on hand to jot down any notes of what he is trying to say so you don't miss anything.

    It's a long conversation and a hard conversation, one that if you don't want things to work out then don't bother with it.

    Woo-Hoo! I'm so glad your training went well!

    I'm certain you will make her proud and exceed her expectations!

  5. #65
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    I find that blokes respond well to compliments and they're more keen to please you if they're getting some compliments - so you might as well tell him he still has a nice butt...

    I will put up with a lot of bad behaviour from someone who is a pleasure to look at - shame on me I know. Not usually interested in dating them though.

    JTDNTB
    What you write suggests an obvious solution to me but it still doesn't seem clear to you as far as I can tell. I suggest you make a few lists - don't worry about sorting it into important and trivial just have a list of positive and negatives - two columns ie the pros and cons, I'd make a list of how I feel about me - then and now, how I feel about him - then and now, and how I feel about the relationship then and now.

    If you're feeling really brave and he's sober, you could ask him to make the same list and then you could swap and go through them together. You'd both learn alot about each other and what your respective expectations and needs are. If either of you get angry - you'd have to take a break or stop (duh).

    It may be that you're both better off as housemates not defactos for a while until one or both of you can find your own place somewhere else. And if he gets all uppity about "it's my place" - just remind him that the defacto laws mean it's "our place" but that at this point, you're willing to walk away provided he treats you with some respect and gives you time to find a place and get financially sorted (set yourself a deadline for this if that's your decision).

  6. #66
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    Hey guys just came on to update about training!

    But regarding the above^^^^ We have tried the list thing and it diesnt work we both get too angry too quickly about the issues that get brought up. Hyca.....he doesnt nesasarily get drunk but he drinks approx a 6pk a night. So he is never really sober either.

    Anyway.............

    Training last night was GREAT! Went through what I have to do for the breed survey on the weekend and got to do a gun test with one of the dogs Got into the breeding side of things and which dogs are coming into heat, which will be bred, which have strong traits, which cant be bred (because they dont have strong traits), which need AI and which can be breed naturally etc. It was very interesting and I learnt A LOT in just one arvo!

    Tonight we are off to the Shepherd Club and CANT WAIT!!! I will mostly be working with the shepherd bitch named Bailey! She is beautiful but compared to the others she isnt bonding with me as quickly. However there is another bitch named Gracie who NEVER takes to people and is very skittish (which obviously isnt a good trait so she wont be bred from) and she has taken to me straight away!

    I think the only thing I have needed to get used to so far is all the shepherds jumping all over me! lol......I dont let my dogs do it so its new to me

    Il fill you all in on how tonight goes...........

  7. #67
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    Quote Originally Posted by JudgeTheDeedNotTheBreed View Post
    Hey guys just came on to update about training!

    But regarding the above^^^^ We have tried the list thing and it diesnt work we both get too angry too quickly about the issues that get brought up. Hyca.....he doesnt nesasarily get drunk but he drinks approx a 6pk a night. So he is never really sober either.

    Anyway.............

    Training last night was GREAT! Went through what I have to do for the breed survey on the weekend and got to do a gun test with one of the dogs Got into the breeding side of things and which dogs are coming into heat, which will be bred, which have strong traits, which cant be bred (because they dont have strong traits), which need AI and which can be breed naturally etc. It was very interesting and I learnt A LOT in just one arvo!

    Tonight we are off to the Shepherd Club and CANT WAIT!!! I will mostly be working with the shepherd bitch named Bailey! She is beautiful but compared to the others she isnt bonding with me as quickly. However there is another bitch named Gracie who NEVER takes to people and is very skittish (which obviously isnt a good trait so she wont be bred from) and she has taken to me straight away!

    I think the only thing I have needed to get used to so far is all the shepherds jumping all over me! lol......I dont let my dogs do it so its new to me

    Il fill you all in on how tonight goes...........
    Yeah, I wish this breeder wouldn't allow it either!

  8. #68
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    JTDNTB

    A 6 pack a night - is too much. 1 can or stubbie of full strength beer is nearly 1.5 standard drinks.

    Alcohol - Reduce your risk: new national guidelines for alcohol consumption

    * For healthy men and women, drinking no more than two standard drinks on any day reduces your risk of harm from alcohol-related disease or injury over a lifetime.

    * Drinking no more than four standard drinks on a single occasion reduces the risk of alcohol-related injury arising from that occasion.
    The rate is actually half the above for women.

    If he drinks that much a night, he might seem sober because he'd have a tolerance but he would not be sober or safe to drive. And he won't be sober enough to have a sensible relationship talk.

    And long term he's up for a lot of nasty diseases. How do you feel about being a home nurse? I don't know if he goes to the mines if it will be better or worse. It depends on the company's policy on alcohol. If they expect him to blow zero in the morning before he starts work, he might need to cut back.

  9. #69
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hyacinth View Post
    JTDNTB

    A 6 pack a night - is too much. 1 can or stubbie of full strength beer is nearly 1.5 standard drinks.

    Alcohol - Reduce your risk: new national guidelines for alcohol consumption



    The rate is actually half the above for women.

    If he drinks that much a night, he might seem sober because he'd have a tolerance but he would not be sober or safe to drive. And he won't be sober enough to have a sensible relationship talk.

    And long term he's up for a lot of nasty diseases. How do you feel about being a home nurse? I don't know if he goes to the mines if it will be better or worse. It depends on the company's policy on alcohol. If they expect him to blow zero in the morning before he starts work, he might need to cut back.
    Im well aware of the effects etc Hyca and no im certainly not interested in becoming an at home nurse!

    He has been t o the mines before and the drinking is worse They have random test etc however he always manages to blow 0 no matter what he drinks the night before. And if they caught him out he would only get fired and find another job by the next day *sigh*

  10. #70

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    I'm so glad to hear you're really enjoying the dog stuff. And it must make you proud to get along with the tough nut Gracie.

    I hope you've got good running legs to be showing Shepherds!!

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