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Thread: Becoming a Dog Shower!?

  1. #41
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    I also do not think you are selfish, I also do not think he is selfish wishing you would do this as you both are at different points on your life path. The paths at this time are not converging and it is no one's fault as needs are different.

    Any posts made under the name of Di_dee1 one can be used by anyone as I do not give a rats.

  2. #42
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    wise words Di!

  3. #43
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    I also don't believe you are being selfish. At the end of the day they are HIS kids, I do not EXPECT someone else to be there for my kids. I do not ask people to put their lives on hold for my kids, and I certainly do not tell people that they can't do what they wish for my kids. If he is not happy with you being happy - than to ME that says it all. I am happiest when my kids are happy, my animals are happy and my parents are happy. As I don't have a partner, I can not comment on that side of things, but I can comment on happiness.














    WHEN ARE YOU HAPPY?

  4. #44
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    Dec 2009
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    Judge, what you described is pretty much what happened with my ex, except we weren't living together (thank dog I didn't make that mistake!). I took his children into my heart, along with his dog and cat. Not once did I ever say anything about how much time his kids took up, as I respected that he was a father first and foremost, and that is how it should be. However, he felt threatened by my animals, and constantly accused me of preferring to be with them over him. After 3 1/2 years, the final straw came when I went to the kennels to do some whippersnipping, a whole 2 hours (!), and was on my way to his place (it was noon) to spend the afternoon with him. When I called to say I was on my way he told me to go home.

    Turns out he was sh*tty that I chose to go to the kennels rather than go to his place! I knew he saw the animals as competition, but this told me he wanted to control everything I did, and did not want me to have a life outside of him. It was the straw that broke the camel's back to so to speak, I had a whinge to a couple of friends who told me I was a different person when he was around, and I didn't like that. It had been coming for a long time, I think he was shocked when I finally agreed that we had different priorities.

    Dog knows that I was willing and DID make a lot of compromises, but I'm damned if any man is going to tell me I can't do something that only took up a couple of hours of my time! The last 3 weeks all I have felt is relief from not having to worry about his reactions to what I do.

    Hugs to you Judge, I feel your frustration, I can't advise you what to do nor should I, all I can say is you need to think about things very carefully and decide what you want in life.

    In My Home Dog Minding
    www.greyhoundrescue.com.au

  5. #45

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    to you Judge.

    Sorry your great day was wrecked with this stuff. One of the important things about relationships is that individual people don't get lost in them. You are your own person, and have to have time to be you. If he can't see that, then maybe it's not the real you that he wants around, but some other ideal.

    Good luck with what you decide. And if you stick with showing, and are going to be around any Canberra or southern NSW country shows at all let me know and we'll catch up for a coffee and chat between classes!!

  6. #46
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    Hi JTDNTB

    I hope you have a place for your dogs and your stuff. Your ex sounds mean - in many ways, including taking a puppy and giving to those people who clearly should not be allowed to own any dog.

    I think he should be glad you have a life outside of him and don't cling to him like a limpet for your every need. But maybe that's what he wants. I don't know anyone who would be happy doing it for very long.

    BTW - is it really his place to kick you out of? If you are defacto (lived together more than 6 months), theoretically you can claim "half" and require him to leave instead. Just a thought. I don't think it matters if you are on the lease or home ownership papers or not if you are defacto. You might want to look into that if you need some (financial) support getting a new place.

  7. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hyacinth View Post
    BTW - is it really his place to kick you out of? If you are defacto (lived together more than 6 months), theoretically you can claim "half" and require him to leave instead. Just a thought. I don't think it matters if you are on the lease or home ownership papers or not if you are defacto. You might want to look into that if you need some (financial) support getting a new place.
    Thanks all for your kind replies....its nice to know that Im not being selfish although I never believed I was.

    I have spoken to him again today and he has just accepted a job in Gove, NT which is Fly in fly out for 4 weeks on 1 week off. So apparently the rules apply to me but not him. He has said that he is going to work up there and when he comes back for that week I am not allowed to do any showing. This I do not have an issue with however the part where he didnt communicate with me about the job and then didnt ask me whether or not I mind having a week off every 5 weeks......just demands it! That ****s me!

    I have been thinking about my situation for a long time and TBH I'm no longer happy and I believe that although we are in the same book we are on very different pages, even chapters - so to speak!

    Hyca, I can go to my mums temporarily although she would have me as long as I needed and I can take Bailey which is great. I have been with him for 3 years and living at his house ( he pays mortgage) for the past 2. I am certainly not interested in getting "my half" because when I first met him he was going through that exact situation. His ex took everything, damaged the house etc etc. I know how much that hurt him.

    I would much rather walk away with my head held high and as long as I know me and Bailey are safe and happy......I will be content! Possessions to me are just that purely possessions. I would just like to be happy! and I know this job will make me happy.

    I will keep you all updated anyway....plus I have training tonight WHOO HOO

  8. #48
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    Oh yeah, love that "Do as I say, not as I do" mentality.....

    In My Home Dog Minding
    www.greyhoundrescue.com.au

  9. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by JudgeTheDeedNotTheBreed View Post
    Thanks all for your kind replies....its nice to know that Im not being selfish although I never believed I was.

    I have spoken to him again today and he has just accepted a job in Gove, NT which is Fly in fly out for 4 weeks on 1 week off. So apparently the rules apply to me but not him. He has said that he is going to work up there and when he comes back for that week I am not allowed to do any showing. This I do not have an issue with however the part where he didnt communicate with me about the job and then didnt ask me whether or not I mind having a week off every 5 weeks......just demands it! That ****s me!

    I have been thinking about my situation for a long time and TBH I'm no longer happy and I believe that although we are in the same book we are on very different pages, even chapters - so to speak!

    Hyca, I can go to my mums temporarily although she would have me as long as I needed and I can take Bailey which is great. I have been with him for 3 years and living at his house ( he pays mortgage) for the past 2. I am certainly not interested in getting "my half" because when I first met him he was going through that exact situation. His ex took everything, damaged the house etc etc. I know how much that hurt him.

    I would much rather walk away with my head held high and as long as I know me and Bailey are safe and happy......I will be content! Possessions to me are just that purely possessions. I would just like to be happy! and I know this job will make me happy.

    I will keep you all updated anyway....plus I have training tonight WHOO HOO
    "And that's when I murdered him, Your Honour."

    You have got to be effing kidding????????????????

  10. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by Devil's Advocate View Post
    "And that's when I murdered him, Your Honour."

    You have got to be effing kidding????????????????
    Thank you DA! I have come back to the post 3 times in the last 5 mins, I have written 2 posts and deleted them as I felt they were a little ....... shall we say forceful. You have said in 7 words what I was trying to say in a page full.



    YOU HAVE GOT TO BE EFFING KIDDING??????????????

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