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Thread: Brian - the disloyal bastard!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    melbourne australia

    Default Brian - the disloyal bastard!

    when huh? when do new dogs realise they are with 'you' not other families?

    So after getting home to a 30+ degree day, as i walk with glass of wine to my brand new cape cod chair, the dogs inform me, i wont be sitting down for said glass of wine, till all of them have had their swim. Feeling guility, i pop wine in fridge, and grab dogs, and lake them.
    At the lake, is a Dad and daughter, sitting 6 ft from where i want to get dogs in water.

    Glass of wine is calling remember! im short on time here lol.
    So as all 3 dogs have ignored people, focussing on their human ball throwing machine, i lob 3 balls into water, and they pass the 2 folks, and dive in. Once in, i swim them for about 15 mins, till i see panting and holding onto balls before releasing on command. A sign they are puffed and need a breather, and are likely to get out of water, and soak the 2 people. So its time to head back through my gate.
    10 paces away, Brian has remembered that there were people at lake, so heads back to say hi, what food have you got?
    I call, he doesnt come. The people are now standing and walking off.

    There goes brian, perfect heal position, with a strange man, walking home with him. Man is timid, and speeds up, putting himself between brian and his daughter for safety i guess. I shout to man, "can you stand still for a second, just whilst i catch him please", perhaps he didnt understand english, or he was a unhelpful bastard, who knows, but kept walking really fast, trying to get away from Brian, who has not jumped, slobbered, or pawed him, just perfect heel position, upping his pace to match the mans so he didnt lose that perfect heel position! grrrrrrrr

    I had to run to catch them.
    Then i have to drag my dog, away from a stranger! He's decided that these people are his new BFF's. how embarrassing.
    why wont he heel for me like that?

    I shove him through the gate and shut it so he cant follow, turn around, and Brian has now led on my brand new cape cod chair, and it eating the bowl of chips id got ready on side.

    Life seems so sweet, for Brain, no guilt, no needing to please anyone, chips laid out for him, brand new nice smelling wooden chair, bit of sun to lay back with. He wont get off MY chair.
    that's 50kg of F**k off, its mine!

    So i gave him 86kg of no it aint, and tipped the chair over and he eventually fell out of it.
    At last, glass of wine, with 2 gorgeous dogs led adoringly at my feet, and a Brian, straining against the gate, wanting to go see his newly chosen owner.

    So its been 6 months, when do dogs get that they live with you, that you are his person? Coz until he gets that, ive got him prisoner, evil laugh.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2011


    Bwahahahaha! That is really funny! Great description too. You should start a Brian the Bastard blog, I reckon.

    Most dogs would get it well before 6 months. My Banjo did seem to like everyone else more than me for quite a bit longer, but she did come when called (and jumped all over her new friends). Took our foster pup about 6 weeks before she stopped trying to follow strangers home.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2011


    Thanks for sharing, it's hilarious!! Rox used to do the same - she still sometimes does. It's really annoying if your dog walks up to strangers and tells them that you an abusive bastard who never feeds them.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2012


    Oh heavens I am still laughing I can so imagine it.
    It is funny how they attach in a weird way to a stranger, Maggie has stopped doing it thank goodness, instilled anxiety in her by paying hidey at the park.
    But I suspect Brian wouldn't look he would just sit down for a rest or wander of with the next passer by!
    I still want the T Shirt "I "heart" Brian and a picture.. lol

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Bundaberg QLD


    Ha ha ... i feel your pain. No beer to go with the chips ??? Poor dog.

    Quote Originally Posted by reyzor View Post
    Education is important, but big biceps are more importanter ...

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Rural Western Australia


    LOL! One of my Border collies was quite happy to go off with anyone. I recently gave her to my niece and she hardly acknowledges me when I go and visit, she is more than happy with her new family. She always greeted strangers much more enthusiastically than me. My other dogs have no interest in going off with anyone else.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2009


    The better I am at NILIF and not over feeding my evil hound - the more likely she is to hang around with me, but the hungrier she is, the more work she puts into foraging too. So she learned young what a picnic looks like, and what a treat handout to another dog by another owner looks like, and what left over bbq smells and tastes like. Very difficult to over come.

    It's like I have a zone around me where she will respond but if she crosses the boundary - I can be safely (as far as she's concerned) be ignored. Except I've started wearing running shoes to the park and running her down. A dog can't forage, eat and run away - at least it makes the food location side of it really difficult. And even if there is lots of food on the ground she can't eat all of it before I catch up with her. The more consistent about this I can be, the bigger the zone of obedience gets.

    I don't know why Brian who isn't all that interested in food - worked so hard for someone who didn't want to give it to him. All I can think - is make him work for all his food and make sure you don't pay out unless his moves are brilliant - not crappy.

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