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Thread: Stopping agression

  1. #11
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    Was Molly a rescue? If so, perhaps FIL reminds her of someone unpleasant from her past

  2. #12
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    Thanks Mac and Hya, will definitely take that on board he does try and be friendly so I will make sure he ignores her next time.

    Grevillea, she was a rescue, very skinny, neglected and terrified when he got her. We've had her 6 months so I was also thinking that maybe he reminds her of someone from her past. I don't really blame her for not liking him, dogs are great judges of character. I just can't put up with a barking, growling dog with so long, I've already got the "be careful when you have kids visiting" lecture from the MIL but Molly has been great and perfect with everyone she has ever met, just not him. But obviously I do supervise the dogs with kids and strangers, mainly because I don't trust them with my dogs. We had my partner's friend and her boyfriend come and stay a few months ago, I walked around the corner one morning and saw her boyfriend kicking Meika, he just looked at me and said "she wouldn't stop sniffing me". Big tough heavymetal douche-bag having to kick a little dog because she was sniffing him. Needless to say they were only there for another 10 minutes to pack their things and the door was locked behind them. Even with his disgusting behavior Molly was fine with him so there must be something VERY bad about the FIL!

  3. #13
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    We had a dog who absolutely hated one neighbour and would chase him off our property.
    We found out years later that he was a serial philanderer.
    Oz just knew he was a bad egg.

  4. #14
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    Nero picks up immediately my feelings towards a visitor. Even if my feelings are actually unrelated to the person as such. I don't have any problems with my neighbour, but if he catches me in a difficult moment, like when I'm in a hurry or when I'm in a bad mood and just don't want to talk - Nero will pick it up and growl at him.

    He is generally not overly friendly with people and will view 'intruders' with a lot of suspicion. A lot of people seem to take this personally and take it onto themselves to change Neros mind by talking with him or trying to pet him. Yet, the best results I have achieved is when my visitors completely ignore him. I always tell them not to even look at him directly. I only act normal and the combination of them not confronting him and me acting all friendly and chatty has never failed, he always calms right down and will lie quietly next to them.

    When a friend of mine came to visit I told her the same thing. But she was scared of dogs in general and tended to freeze and stare at him, which set him up everytime. So I gave her a (new) squeaky toy to hold on to. When she bumped into him and got stuck, she would squeak it. For one the squeaking alerted me to 'rescue' her and Nero immediately transformed from a frothing, growling beast to a tailwagging, ears pricking little puppy.

  5. #15

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    Kristy.Maree - sorry that you are going through this with Molly.

    It is a shame that your FFIL can't be crated when he misbehaves and he seems unable and unwilling to be trained to act appropriately when asked nicely - especially when he is a visitor at someone else's home!
    The mind boggles as to what training methods could be used to curtail his behaviour !


    It is time to set up the rules and explain the consequences to your FFIL. Not really a 'biggie' here ! Just explain that you are really concerned about Molly's behaviour towards him and that it is not her usual behaviour with guests and at this next visit you want him to totally ignore Molly and follow your guidelines as to what you want to happen - when and how. The obvious consequence of him not following your rules - will be Molly being very noisy and stressed all the time and no one will enjoy this special time together !

    Surely he will see reason !

    Over the years of dog ownership, I have found that not all of my pups have or will like every person that has come to our place. So, I set up a place for them in the house that they have always classified as a safe place where they can go and not be hassled at all. That place is my bedroom. Everyone who comes to my place knows that my bedroom is totally out of bounds and over the years, I've never had any problems. So find a safe place for the pups so they know they are not in trouble when they go there.

    LAT, as has been suggested is good. Sitting outside shopping centres, pubs, schools or going to sporting venues while doing your training will not be wasted on both your dogs. There is still time until the visit.

    Some websites to look at:

    kikopup - YouTube

    and

    K9 Pro The K9 Professionals; Online Dog Shop

    and

    Patricia McConnell PH.D. | McConnell Publishing Inc.

    Heaps of Good Luck Wishes ! Dealing with families can really test us !

  6. #16
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    I wish I could crate him! haha. The dogs have the garage where they sleep which is their 'quiet' place, they have couches and beds and toys etc down there and they love it but when the in-laws come to stay, privacy is non-existant. I go to work and come home to find my garden landscaped differently, all my furniture rearranged, have found my kicthen cupboards rearranged as well as my bedroom, all my washing put away, clothes in the cupboards folded more neatly and when we moved house his mother even unpacked all my underwear and created a special 'adult' draw in our bedroom.. privacy is not something that they understand or believe in.
    So if my privacy can't be respected I'm not sure how I will convince him to respect the dog's but I will have to try.

    The more I think about it, the more I realise that it's definitely a FIL problem and not a Molly problem, I just have to find a way to teach Molly to put up with him while he's here.


    Quote Originally Posted by margoo View Post
    He is generally not overly friendly with people and will view 'intruders' with a lot of suspicion.
    Molly usually views new people with a lot of suspicion too but as soon as Meika starts being friendly, Molly is friendly too, she does that insane wag where he whole body almost bends in half and she hits herself in the face with her wagging tail

  7. #17
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    Sounds like the in laws from hell!!! I think if anything Molly has probably earned a treat for her people judging qualities... what a smart dog you have!!

  8. #18
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    Sorry I got Molly & Meika mixed up. It's very hard when you don't actually like a person to convince your dog to, especially one that has fear problems anyway, they've learnt to be sensitive to the ones you should avoid.

    Best of luck with everything.

  9. #19
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    I had a dog once that was like this with my very good friends partner. He had a very deep voice and this dog was totally freaked out by him. Fortunately he was very cooperative. We would sit and talk and I would get him to completely ignore my dog. We would place treats at decreasing distance untill she was comfortable enough to take it from him. However this would take cooperation, patience and restraint by your FIL.

    Possibly the best thing is for your FIL to completely ignore your dog. If she runs up and barks, just move off without any engagement at all. No looking at the dog just treat her like she doesnt exist, this might make her more comfortable.

  10. #20
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    I go to work and come home to find my garden landscaped differently, all my furniture rearranged, have found my kicthen cupboards rearranged as well as my bedroom
    I once cleaned a friend's linen cupboard - cos I couldn't stand the smell coming from it. Turned out she'd hung some sheets out under an apricot tree - and caught apricots in the sheet and then put them in the cupboard - mouldy mildew mummified apricots in sheets. But it was a hallway cupboard and we used to be house mates so she was pretty forgiving.

    Do protect your dogs from your inlaws - I'd hate for you to come home from work and find the dogs have been let out to roam like dogs used to 50 years ago or FIL has attempted training and been eaten...

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