Page 1 of 4 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 34

Thread: At the end of my tether...

  1. #1

    Default At the end of my tether...

    Hi guys, I'm new to this forum and I'm posting this as alast ditched attempt to get a little advice, maybe a few words of hope beforewe take the puppy back to the breeder she came from and never go back. this post is a bit of a rant, but I'm hoping to hear from other people, who camein to owning dogs, perhaps a family member died and you were left with the dog, or maybe your friends asked you to help out when they had to move and couldn’t take their dog.

    I need a story with a happy ending of people who were once begrudging dog owners, and are now happy dog owners to give me a little hope in my situation...

    My big brother (23) completely out of the blue, decided to go and get himself a German Sheppard puppy. To be honest I'm pretty sure the only reason he got this idea was to impress a girl... When he first voiced this idea, the whole family was against it. No one wanted to deal with the mess,noise, work involved, but he ignored our concerns insisting that we wouldn’t needto be involved because he would do everything. We all laughed out loud at that,since he isn’t responsible for anything!

    So one day, much to my alarm, he comes home with a 4/5 monthold pure bred, female German Sheppard puppy. This is without any warning, hehad been talking about getting this dog, but we didn’t think he would actuallygo through with it. The house hadn’t been prepared, nor the yard, our two petcats were certainly less than impressed that they hadn’t been notified aboutthe new member of the family...

    When she came to us at 4/5 months, the puppy had only everseen the inside of the breeders grounds and only ever played with other German Sheppard’s. She had never seen another breed of dog,seen cat, worn a collar, or been on a lead. She didn’t know any basic commands or have toilet training.

    The first weekend we had Rouge, she went to puppy school,but only two lessons in, it finished for the Christmas break. Jason attemptedto do a bit of training with her on his own at home, but he pretty much just gave up shortly after, more interested in going out with friends, or doing prettymuch anything else.

    Her first night at home, she was put to bed in her crate,and she howled and cried and barked all night. No one got any sleep, we all hadto keep getting up to check on her in case she hurt herself from trying to get out of her crate. If I was beside myself with anger then, it’s nothing to how Ifeel now. It has now been about 4 months the puppy is getting bigger, she isabout 7/8 months old and my brother has taken ZERO responsibility for HIS dog. Andwe are all at our absolute end.

    It became very clear very quickly, that as much as it wasn’t anyone else’s responsibility to look after her, we (the other members of thefamily) would have to step up in a major way with the dog, even if it was just to stop her destroying the house.

    My mum, sister and I are just really fed up. It seems likeour lives just revolve around picking up dog poo from all around the house becauseshe still isn’t toilet trained and trying to stop her from barking her head off at anyone that walks past our yard, or stopping her from trying to eat our cats.She keeps us up ALL night with her barking, and scratching at the door. I'm just surprised no one in the neighbourhood has made a noise complaint about her yet.

    My brother is moving out of home in a few weeks, and his room mates are refusing to let the dog come. So as much as we were looking forward to seeing the back of the both of them, it doesn’t look like it’s going to workout that way. Mum says it would be cruel to force Jason to take Rouge with him when he moves out, because we know he won’t pay her any attention, and we now just have to take the dog on as our dog and try and sort her out.

    I know that this forum isn’t about lazy older brothers, and alot of Rouges issues can be sorted with good training, but when I didn’t ask for any of this, I haven’t had a decent sleep in months, and she has started to bite us,I just feel really disheartened.

    Has anyone been in a similar situation? Did you manage toturn it around and build a satisfying relationship with your dog?

  2. #2

    Default

    I don't doubt that with commitment and the right guidance you could definitely turn her behaviour around, but my question would be - do you want to commit to this dog? If you are willing and wanting to take ownership of her and put the effort and time into training her, then my advice would be to have a one on one session with a reputable trainer as they will be able to set you on the right track and help you shape Rogue into a dog you enjoy living with. If you let us know where you are we can recommend someone in your area

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Southern NSW
    Posts
    3,784

    Default

    To me this dog is not loved where it is and would be better off if it was re-homed.........People need to want the dog to be able to do all the work that has to be done. If the dog has already been in the home for 4 months and no-one has picked up where the brother was lacking, this poor puppy needs a new home.
    I cannot imagine living in a house and ignoring a dog that lives there. poor Rouge......makes me want to take her and love her. She needs a lot of TLC and training. A GSD can be such a wonderful dog, but they so need to be wanted, trained and cared for. It just doesn't happen.
    This post makes me feel very sad and quite angry.....I think she needs to be re-homed. And that is not usually a statement I make. I will struggle with even the most hopeless dog/owner teams, but there needs to be the term "I want this dog in my life" or "I love this dog no matter what"
    Pets are forever

  4. #4

    Default

    Hi Problempaws. I'm sorry for the situation your family and Rouge have been put in.

    I too think it would be better for her to be rehomed. I don't think it's fair on either her or you to continue trying to force a great relationship. The desire has to be there to make it work, and it doesn't sound like this is the type of dog for you.

    But, in saying that, please, please don't advertise her free to good home etc.

    If you pop onto this site you can find local rescue contacts and groups that may take her on. The benefit of that will be that these groups will take care of her veterinary needs like desexing, and basic training before finding her a home.

    The PetRescue Shelter Directory | PetRescue

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    206

    Default

    The second last paragraph of your post says it all. I would say 100% of Rogue's issues can be solved with some training (and exercise).
    Also, it sounds like she is super bored.

    I realise that the situation is not really your fault, but I have to say two things:
    1. If your brother is as immature as he sounds, he probably won't last very long in the outside world on his own.
    2. I think your parents need to take some of the responsibility here - they should have put their foot down, and not allowed your brother to adopt the dog in the first place, especially when he is bringing the dog into their house.

    Having said that, I'm going to try and be helpful.
    A dog is a huge responsibility, and unfortunately, Shepards are not, in my opinion, dogs for novice dog owners. They are incredibly intelligent (think police dogs). They need a lot of stimulation.

    So, in order to improve her behaviour, I would say the number one thing at the moment (aside from training) is EXERCISE. Probably somewhere in the area of an hour a day of heart pumping kind of exercise.

    Start doing some training with her everyday. Start small. Teach her "sit", stay, etc. Go from there. Training is great mental exercise for dogs, and I think you'll find she'll learn really quick. Maybe aim for 10 mins in the morning and ten in the evening?

    Get some stimulating toys: a Kong, Everlasting treat ball, etc.

    Get her some bones to chew on. Big ones. Bones keep my dogs entertained for a few hours.

    Toilet training can be a bit of a trial, but it can be done. You just have to be really vigilant with her. Take her outside to the place you want her to toilet everytime she eats, drinks, or has play time. Also, before bed, and absolutely first thing in the morning. You can give a command if you like. I use "toilet". Stay with her until she goes, and then praise like a crazy person. GOOOOOODD DOG!!! Lots of pats. She won't need to go everytime, so give it five minutes, and then bring her back inside. If she has an accident, don't scold her, just take her outside to the spot, and give the command. I'm not going to lie. You need to do this for days, even weeks, but she WILL start to get the hang of it.

    The barking issue might stem from the first night when she cried, and you all gave her a lot of attention. I would say start with the other stuff, and see how you go. You will probably find the barking improves significantly.

    Good luck!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Melbourne VIC
    Posts
    607

    Default

    I agree with everyone's posts (if that is possible).

    Problempwas, you and your family need to decide whether or not you are willing to commit to this dog for he rest of it's life. If not, then rehoming it is the right thing to do. However, if you do this, the likelihood of ever getting a dog again (from a reputable breeder or organization) is basically zero. They will hear "my family had a dog but we gave it away because after 4 months it still had no training and we couldn't handle it anymore". Even though it was your brother that brought the dog home, everyone in the family has to take responsibility. Your mum sounds like she has a soft spot for rouge. You, however sound like you hate this dog and do not want to fix the problems.

    If you are willing to commit to this dog, it could turn out very happy, but the WHOLE family will have to commit.

    Does Rouge get ANY exercise? If yes, the. The person doing this is off to a great start and I commend them. If not, then you are all crazy!
    A dog with no exercise, no training and no love is a BOMB waiting to blow up.

    Get her out for a run. Take her to an off leash park, when NO ONE (I mean NO ONE) is around and let her get rid of some energy. Istay near the gate, so if someone comes last you can let them know the situation (lie if you have to, say you adopted her and are letting her drain energy before working with her) and that would appreciate it if they would let you put her back on lead first. Take treat for her, as his will make it easier for you to get her back and in return, this will be the beginning of teaching recall. Whatever you do, dont use the wird come when getting her back for now, just make fun, exciting noises and hold treats. She will come to investigate. Thats when yiu put her on lead and reward wih pats and treats. Has she met other dogs before? I'm assuming she learnt basic manners when she was a pup with her mum.

    Once she has done the running, then you can work with her. Working to train a tired brain is a lot easier than a brain full of energy.

    That's all I'm going to say for now. If you actually want to help fix this dog then I will be happy to provide more, but if you don't then I'll save my breath (typing) and say call the breeder and explain the problem. If she won't take her back, then she was a bad breeder (but from what I've heard she seems lime she was anyway if the dog wasn't even house trained or properly socialised before 5 months) and if that doesn't work then look into recue groups.

    But if you donwant to help her, definitely get a trainer to help you, even prior to taking obedience classes with her. Tell us where you live and we can try to recommend someone. There are a lot of other trainers on here that will be willing to help you if you want the help!

    Sorry if there's a lot of errors in the text. I'm writing it on my phone so can't see anything once I type. Silly phone!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Canberra
    Posts
    4,290

    Default

    I think I agree with newfsie. If you have not felt motivated to intervene in those 4 months, it means you do not care for this dog. Which is NOT your fault as you didn't want the dog in the first place. But it is not fair on the dog and she need to live with someone who really wants to love her and do the best they can for her.

    I also agree that this is not a dog for an inexperienced dog owner. Which doesn't mean that you cannot make it work if you really want to. But it would be a very steep learning curve and take lots of commitment and hard work.

    Before we give you further advice you need to decide whether you really want to keep her or find someone who is happy to take her on and start her training and socialisation. And you need to decide this now because the longer you wait, the harder it will be to fix some of her problems.

    As I said, do not feel bad if you do want to rehome her because you did not choose to be in this situation.

    And personally, I would feel reluctant to send her back to the breeder if he had not at all socialised her in those first 4 months. I would try to find an owner some other way.

    Good luck with the decision. Remember that this is not the time for sentimentalism - the dog doesn't understand terms like cruel or betrayal. You need to think about how this dog can get what she needs and deserves.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Melbourne VIC
    Posts
    607

    Default

    Well said, Beloz.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Southern NSW
    Posts
    3,784

    Default

    Well said Beloz...I agree with not sending back to a breeder who at four months had not socialized the puppy.....GSD's are at the high end of caring for emotionally.......I think she would be a lot of work to change now. And being still in the same environment where everything happened or didn't happen before will make it more difficult. Better to start a fresh from scratch.

    Sorry I was a little rough in my first post, but i am a person where it is all about the dog..............

    Good luck with whatever you decide to do.


    I also re-read your post, you asked if people ever had success. yes would be the easy answer. people take on a difficult Rescue's they get and they work through all the problems. But those people usually choose that dog and feel a connection. A want and love for that dog. If you take this on, you must want the dog.
    Pets are forever

  10. #10

    Default

    Thanks smeagle for the level headed advice that gave me a much needed boost without the judgement.

    Anyone who read my post with a willingness to give some friendly advice would have seen that I'm clearly just over tired and frustrated and certainly inexperienced as a dog owner. I made it clear in my post that I'm aware that the puppy needs a good training routine, so I wasn’t after training tips.

    I said straight up that my post was going to be a bit of a rant, I was at the end of my tether, tired and frustrated form lack of sleep and getting bites from her (she is not an aggressive dog, I don’t understand why she has started biting...). That doesn’t mean I'm a bad person, or horrible to her. She DOES get exercise, my mother and I take her to the dog park at Long Reef (on the Northern Beaches) and yes we certainly FEED her, I was half expecting a post demanding to know if I even bother to give her food and water...

    What I was looking for was a reply from someone that had been in a similar situation, where they found themselves a dog owner without having PLANNED it. I was looking for someone with a success story where they were able to get their head into thinking, “Ok there is a BIG dog in the family now. I wasn’t expecting it, I didn’t ask for it, but let’s see how we are going to work this out so that everyone is happy.” I was looking for some tips on transferring ownership. Like is there anything you should do to let the dog know that someone new is going to be the main owner now? Things like that. Maybe I just needed to realise that since me and my mum have been the ones looking after her since she arrived, that we ARE in fact the owners and need to stop trying to get my brother of his butt, and just accept the fact that she is OURS.

    Harsh and uncalled for statements such as “you hate the dog” “Unloved!, Ignored!” was not something I expected to receive when asking for help about a dog on a forum run by those in the dog owning community.

    I obviously care about her or I would not have bothered to reach out and ask for a little advice from people that are obviously passionate about dogs.
    Everyone needs to have a rant every now and then to take the edge off and get a little frustration off their chest. Perhaps I should have been more clear about what I was after in the advice department.

    Just for the record, after posting (and having a good cry to my mum over the phone because I was so upset about the biting) I dragged my brother out of his bed, and demanded he come along with me to the dog training park. And I'm pleased to report he really enjoyed it. I knew he would if he would ever just agree to come with me and mum. I stayed with him for a bit and showed him the ropes, then said “Right, I’ll pick you up in an hour” which he certainly wasn’t expecting, and I drove home. I picked them up later, both covered in mud, but both very happy.

    And newfsie, I do appreciate your last post. I was quite hurt by the first. I do however; understand that being a dog forum, people are going to be very protective and passionate about all things dog related. I’m just not that passionate...yet. :P

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •