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Thread: Serious behavior issue: Jealousy and aggression towards our other dog

  1. #1

    Exclamation Serious behavior issue: Jealousy and aggression towards our other dog

    Hi All,

    I have issue that seems to be getting worse and I really need some advice as I have no idea what to do.

    The situation:
    My wife and I have two dogs, one pure bred pom female (1.5 years) and one pom/jap spitz male (10 months) both desexed.

    We got the male first (last October) then the female a couple of months after. The female is definitely the alpha dog and is certainly bitchy and bossy (whilst also super affectionate and loving to us)

    The issue:
    The female pom gets VERY jealous (I think) of our male Pom and seems to try and control him, chase him barking etc
    Ie.
    *If my wife or I is holding the female Pom and our male comes close she will growl loudly and if we put her down she will chase him over the house barking in his face etc
    *If we take them out for a walk and put their harnesses on, the male will behave perfectly, the female will bark non stop and aggressively chase and try to nip and jump on the the male almost to stop us from taking him with us. Once the walk around our street starts she will constantly bark and try and chase/bark in his face/jump on him. After a while she settles down and is fine.
    *If we come home and let both of them inside, the female will jump, growl and bark at the male trying to keep him away.

    It seems to be getting worse - they often play fight with each other and are good together. The male often will come over and lick her face while she is lying down. I am assuming this is a jealousy/control issue? How do we solve it?

    Thanks so much for any advice.

    Kind regards,

    Steve

    P.S - here the cuties are:
    photo.JPG
    Last edited by stevenc; 06-12-2013 at 05:50 PM.

  2. #2
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    you have to work on her attitude and being a female pomeranian it doesnt surprise me of her attitude. Work on basic verbal obedience with her, treat her like a big dog. If she misbehaves or attempts to bully him call her back to you and put her in a calm position like a drop or send her to her bed/crate. If she will not listen then go get her and put her on her bed/crate until she calms down and then she can come out to interact again.

    Focus work is important, use treats to get her attention and she ONLY gets attention, treats and fed when she's behaving on your command. She's only behaving that way because she thinks she is allowed to do it - now I'm not saying you intentionally do it but to dogs its perception. if she's allowed to growl, chase etc she will think it's a permissable behavior. You have to set base standards of behavior for both dogs, reward the good and show them the right thing when they are being bad and same rules for both. if she keeps refusing to accept the right way, tough, she needs to learn she cannot get away with murder.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nekhbet View Post
    you have to work on her attitude and being a female pomeranian it doesnt surprise me of her attitude. Work on basic verbal obedience with her, treat her like a big dog. If she misbehaves or attempts to bully him call her back to you and put her in a calm position like a drop or send her to her bed/crate. If she will not listen then go get her and put her on her bed/crate until she calms down and then she can come out to interact again.

    Focus work is important, use treats to get her attention and she ONLY gets attention, treats and fed when she's behaving on your command. She's only behaving that way because she thinks she is allowed to do it - now I'm not saying you intentionally do it but to dogs its perception. if she's allowed to growl, chase etc she will think it's a permissable behavior. You have to set base standards of behavior for both dogs, reward the good and show them the right thing when they are being bad and same rules for both. if she keeps refusing to accept the right way, tough, she needs to learn she cannot get away with murder.
    Thank you so much for your great reply. The thing is when she gets like this, and is barking non stop I am virtually yelling NO in a stern voice (which our male would listen to straight away) and she gets even more agitated, she does not listen at all. I will try putting her outside or physically moving her and holding her on her bed till she calms down and see if that helps.

  4. #4

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    Hi 'stevenc' and welcome to the forum!

    A couple of questions for you:

    How much training on basic obedience have you done with your two dogs?

    Do you pick up the pom (female) so that she is at a greater height than your male?

    As far as I am concerned - putting human emotions onto dogs will always turn to tears. Dogs do not behave that way.

    Dogs generally have four legs and four paws - these should always be on the ground.

    I would suggest that you look very seriously at joining a dog school or training place and put some training time with these dogs that you have.

    If you need some suggestions from the forum - then please do ask!

  5. #5
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    I am virtually yelling NO in a stern voice
    Don't yell at her when she's barking - she will just see it as attention and your approval (you're joining in like a pack of dogs all barking).

    Do what Nekhbet said...
    she ONLY gets attention, treats and fed when she's behaving on your command
    So with my dog, after saying her name and "quiet" in a neutral tone of voice, if she continues barking, I would say nothing, I would get her by the collar - which gets her attention, use a lead if she gets wriggly about it, and hold her still without pinning her or forcing her, just hold the collar so she can't go anywhere. When she stops barking and wriggling - I tell her she's a good dog in happy tone of voice and let her go. If she repeats any undesirable behaviour, I repeat the quiet and gentle collar grab and hold, I can put her in her crate or bed at this point if she's being a bit slow, and when she's quiet and calm, tell her good dog again, and release.

    Usually my dog will get it with the first grab, or even as I start marching out there to get her. Sometimes if it's really exciting (strange cat in our yard), I have to repeat but whatever it was that set her off is usually gone anyway.

    But if your dog is a bit slow - I would put her in a separate place, where she can't destroy anything important, quietly and calmly and leave her for five minutes (set a timer). And then let her out to see what her choice is.

    You will need to be really persistent the first few times you try this, because it's new and unexpected for her. If you give up, then, in her head, it will still be ok to behave the way she was. And then you need to be as consistent as you can. If you can get interrupt her at least 4 out of 5 times and stop the undesirable behaviour then she will make progress in the right direction.

    And remember to reward her with praise and pats and maybe some food treat occasionally - when she is behaving how you want.

  6. #6
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    I will warn you manhandling pomeranians - many will not hesitate to bite you and hard. Trust me I've copped it. If you call her name and she refuses to come or stop barking grab a leash and slip it around her neck and lead her away, please, to prevent being bitten if she really throws a tantrum. This is the beginning but you need to train her to respond to verbal commands so it become pleasant and preferable to follow then a fight between you and her to behave.

    I know what it's like mum has a pom x that wont stop barking and will bite you no problems. But, she wont listen to what I say so what can I do really.

  7. #7
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    Just a small addition to the expert advice above-

    Yelling at a dog just gets the dog more hyped in my experience.
    Keep yourself calm and quiet and limit or remove the opportunity for undesirable behaviour.

  8. #8
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    I think it depends on the dog and how much training they have had. If I yell at mine they know from the tone of my voice I am in no mood to tolerate what is going on and they all come to attention very quickly I can tell you, but I have spent a lot of time training them and they know what is expected. But with your dog it sounds like it currently just amps her up so should be avoided.

    I dont know anything about poms but she sounds like she needs a good dose of basic obedience training. I have found a lot of misbehaviour can be dealt with if the dog understand clearly what you want. It sounds like you need to be calm and firm with her and to not allow her to do the sort of behaviour that you are describing, you are going to have to teach her what you want and lay down some consistent ground rules.

    I have grabbed my new puppy gently by the collar when she snapped at an older dog who came up to me. I used a tone of voice that made it clear it wouldnt be tolerated, but she is a cattle dog and not a pom the last thing in the world that would cross her mind is to bite me. I also do a lot of training with her so her relationship with me does not include biting. She learns quickly and has never again attempted a jealous snap. I simply dont tolerate that crap and she is learning that.

    However you are dealing with a dog that has clearly been allowed to self reinforce this behaviour. I would avoid picking her up and perhaps leash her and really put some hard work into teaching her the basics, like sit, down heel using rewards. You will have to do this separate from your other dog and then slowly up the anti and train her when he is around.I would also be inclined to buy a couple of crates and teach them to relax in their crates. I would also only make a fuss of her when she is calm and behaving herself.
    Last edited by Kalacreek; 06-13-2013 at 02:26 PM.

  9. #9
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    Collar grabs...

    If you think she will bite - use the lead.

    You can reduce the likelihood - by playing the "collar grab game" - where you pair grabbing the collar with a really yummy treat. This is something that you build up to - depending on how sensitive the dog is to movement - especially your hand going towards their collar - so you might start by touching the lead (attached to the collar) and giving a treat.. repeat five times. Say the dog's name lots in happy tones... ie pair the collar grab and the dog's name with favourite treats...

    build up the positive connection by gradually working your hand closer to the collar, then touching the collar then sticking a finger in the collar then grabbing the collar and pulling the dog around a bit (gently). Make no more than five attempts each session, have a break between sessions... max two sessions per day on this "trick".

    You know the dog "gets it" when they hear their name, see you reaching for them and then throw their neck into your hand. Makes catching them a whole lot easier, as well as relocating them when you need to.

    I had to crutch an unfortunate pom one time - but he was pretty good about it. I think he enjoyed the attention and I'm pretty sure he liked being just that little bit cleaner and lighter. I never felt like he was going to bite me. And he got lots of treats for co-operating.

    Be aware of any upset dog signals, like eye rolls, lip licking, looking away, lip curling, if you get growling at you - you've pushed it too far - get the lead. Don't punish the growling apart from putting on the lead and restricting the dog's opportunity to damage anything or anyone. Ie don't reward it either by giving the dog what she wants. And beware of "back chaining" where a dog will be naughty then good to get the treat...

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